More Broken Little Pieces

More Broken Little Pieces

A Poem by Serendipity
"

Inspired for a contest, Less is More.

"

In a million pieces

You picked me up

Put me back together

Mended, fixed, repaired me

 

Only to drop me

Break me even more

I cannot be repaired

There is nothing left

 

May 14, 2008

 

© 2008 Serendipity


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Featured Review

Wow�this is a double Jorio.
I like it very much.

From the first stanza, one gets the idea that there is something positive here. But the second stanza proves that to be false.

I like how you move from one feeling to another completely different emotion.
But this is not a rare thing to happen. More often than not, we tend to depend on people who win our trust with their fine behavior, only to be disappointed later.

Thanks for entering it into my contest.
This is among the best submissions I have read until now.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.



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Reviews

Ouch, girl, I hear ya. Less is more here. Very nice. And very painful. Sometimes, somethings just cannot be fixed. Great write!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow, this is just awesome, truly powerful! Congrats, on the win!

jkb

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Troubling and heartbreaking...the font adds punch to the lines.

Truly emphatic...

Nice work...!

Daniel

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Wow�this is a double Jorio.
I like it very much.

From the first stanza, one gets the idea that there is something positive here. But the second stanza proves that to be false.

I like how you move from one feeling to another completely different emotion.
But this is not a rare thing to happen. More often than not, we tend to depend on people who win our trust with their fine behavior, only to be disappointed later.

Thanks for entering it into my contest.
This is among the best submissions I have read until now.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a unique & symbolic way of describing someone who helped you come back from a hard time in your life, only to leave you feeling worse afterwards. Great job, very nice. (:

Posted 11 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Betrayal of trust... doh, so bad -
`Break me even more` (see, I would want to pause here)
`I cannot be repaired` ('cos this is harsh)
...and the final statement seems without hope...
but less is more... because a million pieces stuck together again... then smashed again...
does sound pretty `more`
so the less is much more... kinda
good luck with that!
ar... but hang on then it sounds as though the person who picks you up is in a million pieces... so I have to re-read... hmm
always a bit wary of SHOUTY pieces though... and me me me - I don't know...
have been accused of `blogging` when reviewing... too many dandelions, that's my trouble


Posted 11 Years Ago


3 of 4 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 14, 2008

Author

Serendipity
Serendipity

Sunny, CA



About
What we do...A Poem by Erotic Goddess ** i am just a girl who LOVES to WRITE ** ** ** Love Starts with a Smile, Grows with a Kiss, & Ends with a Tear. ** .. more..

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