Once Again

Once again I revive from pain
I emerge stronger after enduring all the suffering
Why didn't my heart warn me of my future
The message never reached my mind from my relentless heart
In retrospect, the scenario that is playing a re-run
I can see the obvious out in open
A fair warning to hold myself back
Sometimes life demands a huge price for a simple lesson
I wish I could have restrained the naive child in me
I believe it insisted on proving my mind wrong
Repeating the mantra of optimism, courage and strength
To build trust for a long lasting bond
In hope that this time around I did encounter abundance of faithful love
Instead I stand here once again, more alone than ever before...
Broken to pieces
Shattered in every possible way
Hurt beyond despair
Holding onto little things
Trying to save myself from drowning or disappearing

Why does my heart still not fathom what's transpired?
Why can I not belief that which I have seen?
Why can I not register even after seeing broken pieces of me?
My colourless bleeding heart
Still holds onto a hope that this might just be a phase
This is a side of me that I'm not proud off
I do not recognize this person (me) that's so desperately is taken over with emotions
Waiting just like a dog awaits his master
With pleading eyes

I am ashamed of myself
I am disgusted of myself
I just know I have to conquer this
Bring my original broken self back
As the truth is, that's the best that can happen to me!