Shroud

No NOT THAT shroud

 

 

Covered in this Shroud of black;

I reflect upon the things I lack.

Darkness;

Pressing upon my face;

Smothering;

My soul;

My space.

This Shadow mantel upon shoulders I take.

Drowning;

Drowning;

Drowning;

In this inked linen lake.

Now;

I scarcely breathe.

Swaddled in worry of what was;

What could be.

 

Pull this cloth from my head round.

Unclasp the knots that my hands bound.

Drop tattered weavings on the grass.

Shout to the sunshine!

Free at last!

Author's Note

Admittedly written about 6 months ago and lost in the great Cafe fire or whatever that was.

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

Shaking the shrouds of my oppression
the bounds of my obsession
Wishing the elegant lies that holds us
were not a truth I know

Hoping death would come quickly
spare the hatred kissing me gently
Loosely thoughts fall to an awaiting ground
I am scream I am free at last


Sorry those words came rushing to my head as I read this piece. Really enjoyed this and the flow of it.

Great Job!!!!!!!

[Gary H]

I have been fascinated by the image of drowning and the different connotations it can be used in. The 'inked linen lake' is a great idea. Not too sure about the rhyme scheme. Would be more effective without this perhaps? or maybe the words rhyming are too obvious?
An enjoyable read.

[D Poet K]

this was absolutely beautiful...out of this and your other submission in my contest, I definitely like this one best.

[poddar kushal]

it is a great job and fire added a pure soul to it

[None]

Very well written. The darkness is displayed so well and then such a hopeful ending! Excellent!

[R J Askew]

It sounds like an escape from a writing project that was driving you mad. I thought the best line 'inked linen lake'. I also like the positive ending. Even the sound of the word 'shroud' is ominious...I wonder if it is the D at the end of the word D = divorce, depression, doom, death.

[Jane Doe]

What a hopeful piece! The darkness will lift and we will see sunshine again. And every shadow that momentarily oppressed us was worth the pain as we learn and grow in the dark times. Anyway, this is a beautifully written poem. Thanks for sharing!

[justjenn_2u]

I have felt this weight and I love how you release this and let in the positive energy!

You have a remarkable way with words! The closure of this poem made me smile, so positive.

Thanks for sharing!