Behind the Curtain

 

I’m that type of girl with the needy descent.

I hear the voices surrounding me, killing me, so profoundly.

There’s an acidic curtain made out of the strongest built ever made;

It’s suffocating me and I can’t seem to do a single most thing.

I ache so much. It really hurts. I think my brain is malfunctioning.

Or is it the others that do not work?

Am I the one with the issue or am I the solution to this grave?

 

My head is made out of blocks and it scares me to think,

I am actually a walking time bomb ready to beep.

I struggle internally. There is black and white, never baby blue.

The colors don’t arise, since I became such a plague.

I am decaying inside and simply want help, but I don’t admit.

The light inside of me has gone dim. The traction is gone; it fell asleep.

 

I guess, I simply want to be safe and secure.

I want to be able to smile and stare at the sky with an open heart.

I strive to be confident in what I love and what I seek.

I didn’t know anything before and much less do I know now.

I was always lost growing up. I was the loner and hurting child.

I may have had “friends” but they were never true.

I may have had “family” but family doesn’t let one become so blue.

 

If one were to search deep inside of me, one would find a desperate child.

I don’t want to be filled with gloom. I want to be ecstatic and happy,

Not scared to really be me. I am a girl who needs you.

I simply need somebody, anyone to be my hero,

Someone who challenges me yet loves me for who I am.

I hate caring for what others think and I know I should not care.

It is so difficult to do what I know must be done.

I just can’t let go of my straggling fears.

 

I hide my wanting for a happy life.

I hide my true feelings afraid to be looked down upon.

I am miserable and so I hide my hole of sadness too.

I pretend to be strong and care less about whatever may come.

People believe I am to be feared, since I seem to know what I want.

They think I am build of muscle and not of soggy cheese.

They don’t realize I am nowhere near strong,

And I am fighting everyday just to be me.