You Can't Be Gone

suicide of a love

It's been an hour since i saw the blush return to your pale skin.
An hour since you spoke to me
One hour since you held me
With your eyes closed you look dead
But you can't be
You'd never leave me
You told me you never would
Feeling your cold skin I wonder when you'll return
If...i caught myself
Of course you would
I'd die without you and you knew it
Know it
So baby why won't you look at me?
Why do you lie so still?
The Crimson pool soaks your hair
Stains your skin
The bullet is still lodged in your skull
Pieces of pink lie around you
Splattered on the manila wall
The black taker of breath in your hand
When did you decide this?
I was only gone a few mintues
I don't understand
You seemed so normal
Why did you do this?
Why?
The light has faded from you
I wish more than anything to bring it back
Baby, just come back
Please, come back

Author's Note

i don't know. i wrote this in like 10 minutes it didn't turn out as i would have liked it to
what do you think? be honest and tell me if this is a crappy piece thanks for any type of comment

Reviews

[Jessica M.]

Oh the whole.. I told you I'd never leave you promise... I hate that promise. I wish people would be more down to earth and admit they don't know what's going to happen in the future.
In all honesty this poem seems really composed for the moment it's supposed to capture.
I do like how the wall was "manila" bringing a sort of reality and tangibility to the whole situation.
Nice write.

[An owl on the moon]

Feels deeply passionate, like the thoughts of a Juliet (desperately seeking to revive her love from death)... The words express the honesty, the pain, and the haunted vision so clearly, and the final plea is heartbreaking. Powerful...