The Next Step

Think I'm losing my mind for good
And no one's here to stop me
And even if they were, I doubt they could
'Cause no-one's ever seen me

It's easy to stay awake
It's easy to ignore pain
Hard to keep alive the spirit
Hard to live in someone's name

I'm not waiting with baited breath
For God to arrive on my doorstep
It's been so long since I've had
Any respect

You make me feel deeper sometimes
I've been swimming in a shallow pool
A puddle of silicon light
Endearing you?

It brings a smile to my face
To think of your vomit stained embrace
The last day that I should think of
The last time I thought I knew what love was

And so when you say,
"Love,
I love you,
I'll die for you,
I'll kill for you,"

I whisper inside,
"Death,
I want you,
Done living,
Done killing,
I'm-"

Sick of moratorium
(You make me sick)
Sick of feeling so frozen
(You make me feel)
Sick of anger boiling inside
(Uneven keel)
Sick of thawing in the sun
(You make me feel)
Sick of seeing others die
(You've taken deals)
Sick of seeing them alive
(You make me feel)
Sick of knowing that you care
(You make me feel)
You make me feel I can survive