Euphoric

every day is a new day, years, months, weeks, days. you.

 You asked me why I can never write about you,

the way i wrote about him.

You asked me why I don't express my words on paper,

the way I once did.

Truth is,

I've had writers block since I met you,

and no I don't mean I can't find anything to write about -

because the thing is,

every time I touch my pen against paper,

it reminds me of the way your lips touch against my skin.

It sends shivers up my spine -

even now,

just thinking about you next to me,

hearing you breathe,

hearing the calmness,

the security,

the comfort -

it petrifies me.

I feel vulnerable with you -

like you hold my heart

in a paper jar,

the second it gets wet from tears,

it rips apart.

Every time I attempt to write about you,

I feel a wave of emotions,

like an open wound,

touched by salt.

I am vulnerable with you -

I am weak around you -

for you.

You are the first thing I think about when I wake,

the only thought when I sleep,

and thoughts throughout the day.

I never thought I could let a man enter my life,

like a hurricane hitting a happy home -

turning it upside down.

You make my stomach turn,

my knees go weak,

and my heart flutter like a butterfly stuck in a room.

Being in your presence,

makes me feel more alive than I have ever felt.

The way my name rolls off the tip of your tongue,

or how we laugh so loudly that tears roll from my eyes.

I never thought I would find such comfort in a human being before -

being so comfortable just sitting, not speaking,

or on an adventure, talking for hours.

I am myself with you -

I haven't felt like myself in years.

I can't write about you,

the way I used to write -

I can't because I can't let you see how deeply I have fallen for you,

knowing damn well,

there isn't going to be a light landing, nor someone to catch me.

I can't write about you,

the way I used to write about him,

because with you -

it isn't superficial,

with you,

every day is a new feeling,

a new range of emotions,

indescribable euphoria -

with you -

every day feels like a dream -

one I am too vulnerable to share,

one I hope doesn't fade like most dreams.