They call me disabled

It is a story about me having autism and how it affects me in life.

They call me disabled. Not because I’m in a wheelchair. Not because I’m paralyzed and can’t move. I don’t have machines connected all over my body. I can still walk and function like a normal human being. I can talk and get around places with no problem! So what’s the disability? Well, I have Autism; That’s my disability.

It’s something small that I have, but it’s something big that makes me different. It’s nothing more than a sticky note that I will always have. People who don’t really know me, don’t tend to see it; But, that’s because I’ve improved so much! But it was not just any mere puzzle that I solved within a day. It took me years, and I still need lots of improvement.

This Autism is slowing me down from life. I learn slower than others. I process information slower. It takes me longer to do work, and I interpret things differently from others. But I human and I think like one! I’m just slow. It takes time, but I get things done!

It’s hard for me to make friends. The only friends that I have had are the ones that I meet in Elementary school. I attempted at middle school, but failed. I tried, but people came and bit me with their words. Let me tell you something; whenever you hurt hurt someone, verbally or physically, their heart shatters to pieces. They rebuild it, but they aren’t the same, because their heart is now cracked.

Because of Autism, I have social anxiety. I prefer to be alone, or with just one or two friends. Big groups make me feel uncomfortable, and loud groups make me scared. But that doesn’t keep me from going to places like Comic-con and school dances! I sometimes have to take a five minute break from all the noise, but I get right back to it! My anxiety is slowly getting better, but I still have my struggles.

I have trust issues, because I’ve been hurt. I just can’t let things go. I’m sad when plans change. I have anxiety. I have a hard time learning, and generally like taking my own path. I like working alone, and I generally like to be alone. I have friends that I trust and care about. I have a dream just like everyone else, and I have a voice that needs to be heard.

whether you are in a wheelchair, paralyzed, deaf or blind, etc.. the only disability in life is a negative attitude. Surround yourself with people who will make you forget that part of you. Be happy! It’s not your fault if life is physically and/or mentally hard for you. In fact, everyone that you see around you, have their own challenges that they have to face as well. Be proud of your “disability”; it’s what makes you, you!! Keep in mind, everyone is different in their own way. There is no such thing as being normal.

As for me, this Autism is slowing me down, but it’s not keeping me from doing the things I love! Art, Anime, Languages, it’s not gonna slow me down! I have my struggles, but I’m slowly improving because of my resilience! I am not weak because of Autism; I’m strong because each day, I slowly improve. Autism doesn’t define me. Autism is only a part of what makes me who I am today, and whom I was in the past. I learn slowly, but that doesn’t keep me from learning German and self teaching Japanese! In the next year, I’m planning on teaching myself Arabic or Swedish! I love languages and I have a dream of becoming something along the lines of a translator! At this point, autism won’t slow me down, because sometimes I forget that I have it! You can improve with your “disability”. All you have to do is fight your struggles, and be happy that you have something that makes you who you are today! You are no different from everybody around you!