I Doubt Myself/You Doubt Me

After a month of happiness comes pain.

I have so much doubt,

It takes one problem,

You doubt me no matter how loud my words and actions speak against it,

You don't believe me so you just doubt it.

You don't hate me but you know me better than I know myself.

You doubt me because you see I am lonely,

You know I am lonely.

Friends and alcohol mean nothing at the end of the night.

So you doubt it. 

You don't judge me,

You just doubt me.

You know when I alter my state of mind,

I will fall back to you.

You don't love me,

You still just doubt me.

You don't hate me either.

I loathe myself enough today.

Because they doubt me,

I doubt myself,

A year and a half of staying away from you,

And I'm back to how it began.

For the next year,

My sanity is out the door.

My doubts will conquer.

I dont have anything to fall back on,

Because you all doubt me.

You're doubt is realistic,

A leopard never changes it's spots.

I was not made to keep you happy,

I was made for you to doubt me.

I will be your joke,

I will let alcohol conquer me.

I hardly even drink.

I doubt myself because until I take my last breath we both know I'll keep on making the same mistakes.

I doubt myself because in actual fact, they are no longer mistakes, they are now choices.

Reviews

[APOORVA]

Lovely and intriguing poem. It talks a lot of ones mind and heart dwelling into same mixture of thoughts.

[Madison Rose]

This is a very thought provoking poem, and well written. I am reminded of the strength of our subconscious mind. How it will place us amongst people, and in situations to prove to us that we are whatever label it has given us. We will be whoever our subconscious mind tells us we are, until we fight back, and prove that our subconscious mind is wrong. Then it will validate the fact that we have changed. Then a new, better title will be given to us. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem.

[Neo]

This reminds me of friends who I thought were on my side, and instead of supporting me, doubted my abilities. That didn't make me feel very good.
Thanks for sharing, and good job!