perfect illusion

sometimes, you feel like you re melting and nothing in this world can pick you up. you are down and everything in your mind is negative.

Day 1, scene 1: She felt like feeling nothing;

you are waiting aren’t you

you are always waiting for a sign

something that will help you believe

in him and all of his lies.

You are in denial about the truth

Never questioning his excuse

Say you think highly of yourself

But you still entertain his abuse

What happened to your soul?

I see the bruises and the scars

He never deserved to touch your canvas

How would you forget that you are art

 

Day 1, scene 2: vow of silence

She spoke out of fear and you ignored her

She spoke out of pain and you did not listen

She spoke out of love and you walked away

So now she speaks of nothing

 

Day 2, scene 1: no title required

No one can know the things she has endured like

she has never claimed to be perfect

her flaws tell her story

There is no need to hide them

 

Day 2, scene 2: Trust issues

She gave herself in small doses

So when people left it would hurt less

As relationships came and went

The doses become smaller

Till she no longer felt the need to give

 

Day 2, scene 3: Open eyes

The scary part is that she knews exactly how bad

You were for her

And yet this did not stop her

From loving you

 

Day 3, scene 1: Strain

Head pounding, soul weary

She is trying to think of a happy ending

But pen to paper won’t fix this

Emotions spewed out won’t make this better

Words have beaten to death

Solutions have hung themselves

 

Day 3, scene 2: She hoped

You were everything she should have avoided but

Your potential kept her in a place of sadness

Waiting for you to change but

That day never came

 

Day 3, Before the call: she is restless

Memories are silent killers

The way they creep up unannounced

Disguising themselves as innocent

Knowing damn well

They intend to do harm

And that is the case

Tonight, you will be the death of her.

After the call : 

I know you love him,

but he's no longer fighting for you

I know you're having a hard time letting go, 

but he's no longer giving you a reason to stay

sometimes love means choosing yourself

sometimes love means walking away from

someone who doesn't deserve you

One hour later: dear self

I know it is tough because you’ve given

All you’ve had and they’ve decided that it

Isn’t enough. You’ve taken all that you

Can and in this moment, you feel like

Breaking but there is lesson in the

Heartache and power within pain. You

Are who you are and you deserve the

Type of love you’ve been brave enough to

Give…

Sincerely,

Your inner self

 

Day 4: Emotional truth:

F**k you for making her feel

All the things you refused to. she

Fells for your lies and landed

Here on a pile of her own

Truth. She was in love with the

Idea of you but not in love with

You.

 

Day 5, scene 1: you shine

But sweetheart, you are a wolf

No need to howl

Over the loss

Of weak men

Incapable of

Accepting you

Day 5, scene 2:

You are too good

For someone

Who isn’t sure about you

 

Day 5, scene 3:

The only one worthy of you

Is you

In this moment

You only need yourself

 

Day 5, scene 4:

You owe it to yourself

To want more of yourself

 

Day 6, 8:00 am: the rebirth

On this morning

She feels at ease

The stress has gone

She cannot truly explain what she feels

At this very moment

But it is a feeling that has escaped her

For far too long

She is okay

On a path to being happy again