i dream of fog

I dreamt about those beautiful beaches bathed in golden summer tans,

and being cradled in a Latina lady’s love covered hands

when she dripped down and encased me whole

I felt the embrace of a second soul

like a warm orange fog surrounding ‘til life woza blur

and although i looked around all i saw was her.

 

But that orange fog rose and the now battered beaches cleared,

Golden summer tans were replaced by piss soaked sand and beer,

The bonfire steaming was the only feeling of warmth

And off in the distance a grey foreboding storm

There was no sense of shelter or escape of any kind

And a sign of my Latina lady I couldn't find

 

As I reflected on this dream and analysed it, I knew

There’s no point holding on to the fog it’ll slip right through

All you’ll be left with is a feeling that lingers for lips

and threw your hair a longing for gliding finger tips

 

The only thing I could think about was that….. one day

I’d be the warm orange fog, and would make a choice to stay!

And however hard the wind blew I would never drift away!

She will never have to witness that shade of grey!

Because when she looks around all she’ll see is me.

Author's Note

just playing around with language and structure any advice would be great

Reviews

[Melissa]

I really love the first stanza. It felt steamy and erotic to me.
The second stanza had more of 'street' feel, especially with the piss and beer following your text spelling in para 1: "woza" .. which is kind of cool to me.
Plus I loved the introversion of paragraph 3.

The fourth and final piece has me wondering .. "all she will see is me" At first the thought of a creepy stalker came to mind. But then I read it again and saw a devotional admirer. Very romantic!

[Ben]

Thanks for the comment! i thought what you said about the fourth piece was interesting, the creepy stalker feeling came to my mind while i was writing this too, I think it's a thin line between love and the feeling of wanting to protect someone, and possessiveness.
The "woza" was an idea i thought would be an interesting way to create another analogy with connected speech as in "was-her blur" at the same time as "was a" (kind of lost in writing i know). Thanks again for the comment.