Kicking Dark Witch

Kicking Dark Witch

A Poem by Marc Marlon Villaflor
"

Tinkerbell,Peter Pan,Snowhite,Huntsman and Rapunzel v.s the Dark Witch

"

 

Running steed ridden by a headless warrior,

Flowing dark clouds dim the forest core,

The Evil Dragon spite fire to the realm of the magical forest,

Send off all princess and fairies lost into the haze,

 

The Dark Witch hexes, raising her hands into the sky,

Thunder and lightning strikes from a distance mile,

The cosmos of Fantasia suddenly awakens,

All fairies and princess frightfully shaken,

Precipitously skies glistening, soaring Tinkerbell and Peter Pan,

Gear up for war is Princess Snowhite and the Huntsman,

Now the Dragon stumbles and blinded because of Tinkerbell,

Dark soldiers crushed by the hair of Rapunzel ,

Peter Pan does all the runs, circling the Witch and tied her by his hand,

Snowhite embeds the golden dagger to the Dark Witch's heart,

The Huntsman slashes the monster body and breaks her apart,

Explosions comes after split seconds,

The Witch and her evil creatures vanished for good in the fairies  land.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2013 Marc Marlon Villaflor


Author's Note

Marc Marlon Villaflor

My Review

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Featured Review

OK, I need some guidance from you, Mark. On what aspects of the poem would you have me comment? Here are your choices: Emotional, Material, Form, Grammatical, Context, Sensory, Substance, Message, Audience, Vainpraise. Please, let me know. Thanks.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

I am glad you said that :) it really helps.
Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat

11 Years Ago

Yes, all well and good but how have you interpreted what I said? That may be the more important asp.. read more
Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

I interpreted it as good, a balance one, from there I will learn to accept the truth, It is almost 1.. read more



Reviews

You seem adept at finding the right music to these to set them off well done

Posted 11 Years Ago


Inventive. I got stuck inside the phrase precipitously skies glistening. Perhaps would be better to say precipitous skies glistening? The adverb has no where to go...turning it into an adjective may serve the purpose of the phrase better. Otherwise it reads like a stream of consciousness. Unique. Nice.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Marc, you just took me on a fariytale ride and I enjoyed every minute of it. Very cool.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Mr. Jack :) I just try doing this mix stuff :) thanks for the reads.
the soundtrack makes this an epic read its awesome how u combined all of those classics into one poem i completely adored this

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Bro. your words is always an inspiration.
You have a good concept, but make sure to check your spelling and grammar. This is a good narrative, but I personally think it'd be more suited as a short story - you'd be able to work in more salient details and it would be more engaging considering the topic, I think. If you want to keep it as a poem, I'd consider using a bit more metaphorical language and not focusing on a strict 'sequence of events' as it were.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Got it Tri, thanks for the support. Can you revert where I made my mistakes?
Trigorin

11 Years Ago

The fourth line, 'send off' should be two words. If 'fantasia' is a proper noun, it ought to be capi.. read more
Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Aha thanks Tri, I will look for it and be aware next time. Thanks a lot!
Beware, Sir Marc, of people who praise.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

I knew Mr. Wiseman :) thanks for the care :) you really my friend.
the music you chose to go with this piece is perfect. Your lines build and build......glorious.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Neva :) glad you like it even it is random :) thanks for your precious time.
This is a fantasy in itself: characters coming and going, altering shape and meaning. Strange how you see cartoon as dark and near dangerous, somehow like the old fairty tales, some of which are really scary. But, as should be, the light defeats the night .. much appause! If I may, congratulations for writing in English and being able to take the language into your own place; there are a few minor errors but you've made it very clear that you're learning all the time and that's so honest and brave, Marc.

A wonderful post, very graphic and as a whole, finely created.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Em, I am very happy reading your thought in this work of mine, I am hesistant first because I.. read more
Your picture was an immediate attraction to this piece - just great! As a huge fan of fantasy I loved every word of this piece, and the style you employed, with end-stopping rhyming added to the atmosphere with the vision of nursery rhyme, like chimes in te distance

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Wow, I love your thought Willow, I am glad your insight solidifies the artistic goal of this piece. .. read more
I love it! You certainly have an awesome sense of depth and how to layer multiple emotions and sense on top of one another without any of them becoming too overpowering. Keep up the good work!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marc Marlon Villaflor

11 Years Ago

Thanks Keith I am glad you like it, yeah I love to write more about this and I happy majority of the.. read more

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22 Reviews
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Added on April 13, 2013
Last Updated on April 14, 2013

Author

Marc Marlon Villaflor
Marc Marlon Villaflor

DIFC Dubai International Financial Center, Dubai City, United Arab Emirates



About
I am just writing for almost 2 months now and no background in the world of poetry. Hope you will always share your wisdom and correct my mistakes as I need it to solidify my dreams to write. Thank y.. more..

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