In the rough

once again a free verse I don't perticularly think it's great but hey hopefully ya'll can give some advice to make it better....(:

You may feel down

You may feel great

 

You keep it in mind

That time is too late

 

You can't give up

You can't give down

 

People are talking

But you keep on walking

 

You pray to God-

To end the talking

 

 

 

Reviews

[Nirmala]

You pray to God-
To end the talking

Wow, that is such a constant prayer of so many! Good write

[Marissa]

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

[Leslie Philibert]

Like the way you bring in a spiritual element in the last verse

[Marissa]

thank you! I'm glad someone does many have told me that it doesn't really fit in...

[Dr. Wood ?]

yes, seems that it has finished too early to me too

[Marissa]

I do agree, and I know it's unfinished I just wasn't sure what to put so I put it on here unfinished.

[Harley (arbiter)]

It's good, but I also feel it needs more. I can't put my finger on what more though sorry. But all in all I liked it. Good job

[EileenMarie]

Good write....... you could keep it going if you wanted :)

[Marissa]

Yeah...I'm trying that just don't can't figure it out yet! And Thank You!

[Martha Gilleece]

lovely poem, short and simple but still powerful words. I could see you expanding this into a much longer piece

[mariah]

good job, i like the message to. its something all people must learn, whether young or old. i love the pace of it to, it had good rythem. nice work!
-Mariah

[Emrys Realmskip]

Again its short but detailed it like it :)

[Legolas]

Nice job:) short and sweet

[Chantel]

A good point :) It's so hard to ignore what people say. I know I get caught up in people's opinions too easily. My advice for this piece would maybe be just to elaborate a little, get into a little more detail and make it a little longer. But it's a good poem anyway. A pleasure to read.