A bridge of joy

A bridge of joy

The things we did were quite insane.
But that's how joy came to pass…
As we cut the turf and made a bridge
Out of lush green; meadow grass.

Know full well here nothing

On this earth or river shall ever last.

Then gazed in awe, when all was laid
And done the river dammed 6ft or more
Our heart beats beating their full score
With aloud furor as we ran across…

"5 times or more and, yes…
The things we did were quite insane".
But that's how joy came to pass…
As the river washed
The last sods of earth away to the last

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

I really enjoyed the feeling and the memory quality of the ink. It used some wonderful descriptive phrases that worked well to paint the vision of the day.

I'm not sure if it was intended, but the second two line stanza... really stands out as out of place. I can see how the idea in those two lines applies to the rest of the piece. But it really takes away from the overall flow of the poem. I felt as if the stanzas each had a life of their own and it was hard for them to connect in a smooth speaking flow. Yet, as the tempo and perhaps even the dialect or accent is unkowned to me...my view is simply based from what I see and hear as I speak it.

What I really loved about the piece was how it really gave us the embrace of an endearing moment in time. The idea of building something together is a powerful one. The fact it was a woven bridge blossoms that power even further in the memorable. Then to end the seen as time takes away all things, really leaves the reader with the feeling of life will be as it will be. But we must live it to it's fullest every day.

Great Ink!
Aaron - Wolfwind