Of the Fates That Await Me

Perhaps my greatest fear

Of the fates that await me

I can stomach all but one

To stare at a mirrored visage

And find that I recognize no one

That I am no longer myself

With no idea where I am

How did I come to be in this place?

And what’s worse, knowing all that, and simply not give a damn

 

To feel myself slipping away

One day here and then gone the next

To know I’m losing my faculties

And pray that no one suspects

For who am I if not myself?

My ideas, my thoughts, and my dreams

My body is still here but my mind is going

No aspect of life is more mean

 

I know my knees will fail me

My back will no longer support

My eyes may go all together

But losing my mind is what I fear the most

For if though my body goes

In my mind, I'm still me

I’ll stay sharp, I’ll observe, I’ll understand everything

My creativity will help keep me free

 

But if I no longer have my wits about me

There I will no longer be

My physical self is not who I am

I am more than what others may see

 

I look at those who go on before

And I pray Dear God don’t let that be me

Take my body away and leave my true self

But as in all things, I must wait and see

Reviews

[Nolo Segundo]

This is quite good, and I can relate to it-- for those of us who live the life examined, as Socrates put it, would naturally fear losing mind above all. By your bio I would guess you're middle-age, whilst I'm entering that foreboding land called old age, though in some strange way my mind thinks I'm in my mid-20's: a young man trapped inside an old man's body. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor!

[Mitch]

I'm happy this spoke to you. At least you still have the mind set of a 20 year old. I'm only 32, but there are times I feel like I just left high school (when did all this living life happen?) I think something like this will give a lot of people pause, no one wants to lose themselves before it's time. Thank you for the read and review!

[PoeticSorcery]

I've felt that way many times over. though I don't pray to god as much anymore, but I concur on the rest, especially the part about the mirror.

[Mitch]

I can't imagine much worse a fate to wither away and know you are going. The mirror is a true visage of yourself. If you aren't you there, that's a scary place to be.

Thank you for the read and review.

[PoeticSorcery]

yeah. plus I always hated the person I saw in "my" reflection. getting better, but still don't entirely feel comfortable with accepting that face as "mine" hence the quotations.

and you're welcome

[WithinTheHeart]

Such a honest piece. Words, which most of us have thought.
Fear that consumes. Fear of loss.
I love the opening, when you speak of not recognizing the person in the mirror. As time moves forward, and experience builds, change often takes place before the realization of it hits.

One of my favorite lines "My creativity will keep me free".
Something in which I, personally am thankful for.

Great piece.

[Mitch]

There are plenty of prisons we put upon ourselves that we can do something about, but this one is forced upon us. I think I could deal with physically getting older so long as I can still create... Somehow.

As always thanks for reading. I always want to know what you think.

[WithinTheHeart]

I agree. It truly is a scary thought.
You captured it all, very well.