Vulnerability

This is about us being vulnerable and open. These are our struggles. Do not take it with offense. It isn't supposed to be.

I have defintely written about organization before and I don't really have much advice because to be honest, we are a mess. But that's ok.

As you hopefully know, we are a system of 3000, we have written about this before but I want to say, its ok to not know and not have your s**t together.

We do not have our s**t together. We post irregular. We write irregular. We front irregular. Our f****n heartbeat is off.

But that's ok.

I want to so bad to be a cute system who's life is put together. We work together well, coconcious, and we flourish in our cute journals and planners. We have an aesthetic Twitter and Instagram. We maintain our mental health with an amazing therapist. And life is good.

But its not. For some, yes. They can do that. That is how their life is. I am so happy for them. But we are not.

Our communication is crap. And depending on the day, it can become worse. We don't journal to each other. We hate journaling because it turns into dark fights that are filled with internalized homophobia, transphobia, sexism, and racism.

We do not stand with those internalized thoughts and feelings. We do not like to have them. But parts of us hold that and we are doing our best to help teach them something new.

Its hard to be vulnerable in a cancel culture society. Its hard to acknowledge that no you are not perfect. No you can not handle social media. We definitely can't. We had a system instagram and Twitter for a week before we broke down.

This is no intention to offend or insult. This is our real life we deal with. I am not going to apologize for being vulnerable.

No matter how long we've been chronically abused, we are not sorry for our story and the progress we know we are trying to make.

Thank you.

-Trina (The Masquerade System)