The vampire from the book

Over all, I think your book has a great story line and real potential. It has that fresh, new vibe to it. Just a bit of criticism: typos, Denisa, typos. Your chapters are full of them. Take some time to read through your story and correct them. Reading aloud helps too or just copy and paste the whole damn thing into Microsoft Word and let that do all the hard work. I've noticed that you link sentences together a lot. This is a great technique and can be really effective. Reading through, you link them together using 'because' most of the time. To make your story better and more exciting to read, use a wider range of connectives. If you Google it loads will come up. I'm sure you've heard this all before but these small changes can make a big difference. Also, when you come to moments where you want the tension to increase, don't link sentences together but try and separate them into short, snappy sentences. Sometimes instead of linking them together, you can combine them. E.g. 'I took a tissue and dabbed my forehead with it because I was full of sweat.' you can change to 'I took a tissue and mopped my sweaty forehead.' See what I mean? But apart from those minors, I am really impressed with this. You have managed to get lengthy chapters and spread the story out evenly and not go headlong into the climax which I always end up doing. As I say, the chapters are the perfect length. Whenever I write, mine are like, three quarters of a page and my friend's end up being, like, twenty pages (no joke!) But anyways, keep up the good work, babes, and I'll be sure to read any additions you make ASAP!
Alys xxx

Posted 11 Years Ago