Leslie Shane

What happen to Leslie? Did she committed suicide? Or..Was all that a DREAM? Or was all that REAL?

Leslie Shane

It took me 5 days to realize Leslie Shane's death. It took me 5 days to accept her death. The innocent-quiet Leslie died 5 days after we had that small conversation. Thought I had to create a good relationship with her. But, I realized, that it never happen.

What was the reason?

Why Leslie Shane died?

There were news about her, on the television, the newspaper, and the people in our school were talking about it. 

They said she committed suicide because of family issues.

I knew the truth. 

I knew how and why, my friend, Leslie Shane died.

Leslie Shane was a quiet type of person. She hangs out with people, but I always saw being by herself. I don't think she was bullied, or making nasty rumors about her from our classmates. She was just all alone. I didn't give much attention to Leslie. But, somehow, I was curious of what kind of person she was. I observed her from time to time. Knowing what image she might show that no people might not know about. One time, at lunch break, I was sitting beside her, pretending to look outside but I was looking at her reflection on the window. There came three girls gathering around Leslie. I stopped looking at her reflection, getting a book on my desk and turned to the middle page, and pretended that I was reading. I didn't know why I was doing this. I never thought of eavesdropped on their conversation. But my level of curiosity was so high, like I was desperate to know Leslie Shane. 

"So Leslie," one of the girls said, "do you want to come with us for a tea party at my house tomorrow?" 

"Oh, I'm sorry", Leslie replied, "I don't think I can come tomorrow."

When the girl asked her for a reason, she didn't say anything. I looked a glimpse of her expression, all she gave them was a smile. The girls didn't understand her, so they left. I couldn't guess why Leslie reject the invitation. Was there a reason that she couldn't tell to her classmates? 

I looked at her once more, and I was surprised that her reaction changed. Though she was still smiling, but I noticed her eyes didn't match. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked down on her desk. Leslie's eyes was sad with a smile on her face. I wanted to ask her if she really wants to go to the party. Wondered if she feels regret rejecting it. But it would blow up everything and found out that I eavesdropped them.

When she left the desk, directly leave the classroom, I thought that she would end up crying somewhere. I didn't intend to follow her. I thought of giving her time to be alone. But she had been alone for so long. I watched the girls, to whom they talked to Leslie, they didn't notice her leaving. They were laughing and chit-chatting like it was their business only.

The bell rang for one last time of the day. The teacher left the classroom. Students packed their things in their bag, leaving for the school campus. My eyes moved to the table beside me. Leslie was seating down, placing her hands on her lap, and looked down aligned with the placing of her hands. I wanted to say to her, but I didn't have the courage to do so. I watched everyone leaving the room, until it was just the two of us. 

I sat down, looking at Leslie. I waited and waited until my I can ring my voice out. I didn't know why I was nervous. So, to say, this was my first time talking to Leslie. "Uhm...Leslie...", I called out to her name. She didn't make a single move. I lastly called her out again, then she moved her head on my direction. Her face was plain, then she suddenly smiled. I blinked a lot of times for her creepy expression. I told myself not to think about it because it would get awkward more. So, I asked her if she will go home, she didn't reply. She just smiled at me. And I didn't get what her smile was all about. 

Her expression was what got met confused. I couldn't read her face. I'm not a psychiatrist that can read her emotions. She moved her body to my direction, but keeping the smile on her face. The silence was getting awkward. At least there was a topic to talk about. "You were listening, right?", Leslie spoke up. I was surprised that she spoke up to me. Then she repeated her question and mentioned about the conversation that happened at lunch break. I knew she would found out, I thought. The way she looked at me, it was serious. I was planning to lie but I don't think she would believe me. On my mind I was going to tell her, but the words wouldn't come out. I took a breath, and calm my nerves down. And letting my feelings out. 

"Y-yes...and I'm sorry", I told her.

She didn't say anything after that. She stood up from her seat and grabbed her chair towards my table. I sensed she was waiting for me to ask her that question. "Why did you reject it?", I told her, "You really want to go, right?" 

"Not exactly. I really don't want to go"

I wanted to ask her why but I kept it in silence. I looked away at the window, watching the baseball players preparing for their practice. I thought it was about to time for the clubbing to start. I wanted to leave and go to my club, but I couldn't leave Leslie alone. I wondered how long she has been a loner. I was guessing those girls were Leslie's real friends, but I was wrong. Leslie figured that she won't have a long stand friendship with those people. Guess that they weren't her type of friends to hang out. 

"Hey Leslie, do you want to be friends with me?" 

When I asked her that question, she lost her smile in surprise. I didn't know why I asked her but I thought she needed someone to be by her side. So I thought being her friend would safe her from loneliness. 

Leslie didn't reply.

She was giving me a smile.

I was curious what her expression was telling me. I was serious about asking her. But she didn't give me an answer. 

"You have a club duties to do, right.", she said, "You should go"

"What about you?"

"Don't worry, I will be fine. I will stay here until you come back?

I stood from my seat. Leslie and I looked at her for a brief moment. From her eyes, telling me that  I should go or I would be late. I walked out and stepped out from the classroom. I looked at Leslie. She gave me a wave and I waved at her back. 

I went away leaving Leslie alone in the classroom.

I felt bad leaving her, but she wouldn't let me stay.  I walked in to the art room and there were members started to paint. I went to my station and prepared all my art materials. I couldn't think of anything to paint but worrying about Leslie. I couldn't keep her expressions out of my mind. I wanted to know about her more. While I figured out to paint, I thought to asked her for an hang out after school. Though I have to ask her.

I started to paint. I thought about painting two girls eating in a cake shop. My style of painting is realistic. I started of with a pencil, sketching everything until it became like a real image. It was simple to draw but difficult to extend it because the frame was big. 

When the sketch was done, I wiped my sweat with my handkerchief. I watched the window outside, the crimson color of sky shown. I didn't realized that it was already late. I covered my sketch with a table cloth, placed on the corner of the shelves, and settle all my materials in my bag. 

I went out of the classroom first, saying goodbye to my club members, and went to the classroom where I left Leslie.

When I got back, she was gone. But her bag was still hanging on her table. I walked outside, searching for her. I didn't where I was going to start but thought that I had to go to the rooftop.

I went upstairs until I reached the last stairs. When I opened the door, she was there standing on the edge of the balcony. I called out her name and she turned to my direction. She wasn't smiling anymore. She furrowed her eyes and looked down . I remembered that I saw that same expression. 

"What's wrong Leslie?", I asked. 

She looked at me and told me that it was nothing. I didn't believe her. She started giggling, I didn't get her why. 

 "Tiffany...", she called out my name, "...thanks for asking me to be your friend." 

"What do you mean? Why thanking me?" 

Leslie told me that she never had anyone to talked to in her life. She told me a bit of her family background that her parents were divorce. Her father would abuse her for no particular reason. Everything started in her childhood. Leslie was afraid that she would be friends with anybody in class because she was afraid of being asked about her background. It was painful for her to deal such paranoia. I felt sorry for her. Her tears fell on her eyes. 

I wanted to near to her, but she wouldn't let me move. 

All the sudden, Leslie jumped out of the balcony and gripped the bar with her both hands. I was bolt from the blue. I told Leslie to come back, but she resist. I wanted to approach to save Leslie, but my I couldn't move my legs. Without telling me, she would jump and fall to the ground if I try to make a move. I was getting anxious. 

"L-Leslie...come back please"

"Tifanny...what's reality? what is not? Everything was just on your head?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Thanks for being my friend. I will remember it forever", she smiled.

There was a moment of silence. It was tormenting. When she let go of the bar, she made one step. I ran to catched up to her, but I was too late. Her body was lying on the ground. Her head was crushed and blood came out. I was stunned. My legs were shaking that it made me hard time standing. I had hard time breathing. My hands were shaking. And I broke down so hard. 

There was a pain in my chest. There were so many questions on my mind, but no answers that I could find.  I couldn't think. I watched the sky and cried out. 

The time when no sunlight is visible, I was in my dark room. I lied down on my bed staring on the ceiling. I couldn't stop thinking about Leslie's suicide incident. I couldn't sleep. I haven't eaten anything when I got home. It was a tragic scene.

I close my eyes and not to think about it. I was calm, but scared at the same time. When I slowly open them, I moved my head to the side. A dark shadow of a girl was standing on the corner of the wall. Her face wasn't clear. Blood was dripping on the floor from her finger tips. I blinked once, she moved. As I blinked a lot of times, she got closer and closer. I couldn't scream. I couldn't move. I was paralyzed. This is a nightmare. 

When the girl bend down, her face was close mine. She was pale. Her eyes were bleeding like tears. Her lips were dark black color. And she was smiling. 

When I sensed that smile somewhere, I remembered that the girl was someone I knew. "Leslie?" I said. She started giggling. And it creep me out.

I wanted to wake up in this nightmare. 

I closed my eyes and told myself to wake up. I opened them, ended up in a white room. There was nothing else, but me and one door. When I heard the click sound from the doorknob, men in white suit came and grabbed my arm. I asked them where they were taking me. They wouldn't tell me. We kept walking until we stopped to a wooden door. One of the guards, standing in the stand, opened the door. We walked to a room where there is only one table and a chair. I sat down and there was a woman, wearing a suit, in front of me. I could guess that she is a lawyer and beside her left hand was a folder with lots of files. 

I was confused of what was going. The lady suddenly asked me about Leslie Shane. I was shocked. The first question was about Leslie's death. "Why did you kill Leslie Shane?". Other than my voice on my mouth, the answer was just in my head. I didn't kill Leslie.

"Did Leslie say anything to you?"

I didn't say anything. I was still in shock because I didn't know what was going on. When the lawyer asked me for the third question, I didn't listen. I looked at her and explained to her what was going on about Leslie. 

I told the lawyer about her family issue. But the lawyer told me that Leslie's parents didn't divorce. Leslie's parents were a happy married couple for so many years. They both work as a business workers. 

"That wasn't what Leslie told me", I told her.

"What do you mean?", the lawyer was confused, "You didn't know? I thought you guys were bestfriends?" 

Best friends? 

"Since when?" 

She went to her folder, found a picture clipping on the files, and gave me the picture. It was me and Leslie in it. Smiling happily in our middle school uniform. I shook my head in disbelief. The lawyer explained to me that Leslie and I knew each other since middle school and became friends since first year. I denied everything she said. She asked me once more of why I killed Leslie.

"I didn't kill Leslie", I told her.

"Then why Leslie died? Didn't she fell down on the balcony of your school."

I knew why Leslie died. She committed suicide in front of my eyes. I knew what I saw. But the lawyer wouldn't believe me. She told me that she died because I pushed her out of the balcony. 

"What?" 

"You guys were fighting. And then you went mad and pushed her out of the balcony"

"No, that's not true. Leslie committed suicide"

"No Tiffany, you killed Leslie Shane. You killed her 5 days ago"

I couldn't say anything to her anymore. 

But I know that's not what really happened. On my mind, I questioned myself. 

Was all that just a dream?

Did I kill Leslie? 

I don't know what's real anymore. What's happening between me and Leslie, I couldn't explain anything anymore. 

Which is real? Which is a dream?

 Leslie committing suicide...was that a dream? 

I killed Leslie...was that real? 

So everything what she told me, thanking me for being her friend, was all that a dream too. And those words before she let go of that bar, is this is what she meant?

Something...something that I can't accept. Something...something I can't deny. Everything, was all just in my head.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems

What do you think of the characters?

What do you think of the plot?