no more soccer

As a kid I loved soccer to death and I was amazing at it I wanted to be a new Mia Hamm that was how bad it was! my dad would make me run the length of the high school soccer field until i passed out or puked then would let me take a break but then do it over again I thought that was okay but as I aged my body would get tired more and more and to combat that my father would beat me until I did what he wanted sometimes he'd tie me to the goal and whip me with his belt or take my kelts and make me run home while driving behind me faster than I could every think of running and if I didn't run faster he would not stop but I would get up and do it again because I thought that was okay. Over time his methods got more and more extreme as in putting glass in my klets if I didn't make good enough time and the slower I was the more glass was put in, during a game he'd remove the padding in my shin guards if I was playing to soft almost breaking my shins and ankles because in soccer its play hard or lose, and if my team lost it wasn't just me who failed he would punish my older sister through sexual abuse and I would be forced into boxes tied, broken, starved, and a mess hearing my sister's screams as "my failure" killed her. As this went on I started losing who I was because it dawned on me even if I try my f*****g best it wasn't good enough throwing me into the black hole of my inner world.

Author's Note

don't worry about it