June 2 2016

I dream very rarely, but I dreamt of suicide. I am on a balcony with a white family who is my family; we live in an area where the remains of a sky diving facility use to be. The view is past the horizon and the houses have Mexican style roofs. My family and I hear a huge noise and we go to the balcony to see. It is a man on a rocket going up to the sky but suddenly he jumps off. I watch it all. I watch him jump off in a vertical position with no remorse or scared expression, he falls lifeless, Everyone is in shock and they move away from the balcony. I watch the whole thing, I watched him tilt 30 degrees as he gets close to a roof top he smacks on to. The smack was so hard the Mexican rooftop comes off from the edge. He hits it twice. Then he falls smack on the floor. I watched it all, and I felt nothing. I watched him splat in hopes to feel scared, to feel that I’d never want to do that. I felt nothing, I just kept watching.