Nameless

The is the beginning of a story I am writing about Lilith. Let me know what you think so far.

The city smelled like hope and crushed dreams. All around were people rushing to get to their destinations which seemed almost as important as being on time to their funerals. She sat and watched as they hurried by, trying to make their short realities just a little bit longer. Thinking that perhaps if they ran, they would live longer to see the world change. She was not like those people. In fact they did not see her. Instead she watched as these people sprint through their empty existences and waited. She waited for whatever came next. She waited for her own short reality. She had watched the world change. Observed war after countless war, and pitied the men who fought for a freedom that would never exist. 

She looked across the vast pit of craven humans, vile creatures who had become emotionally vacant over the centuries. A level of empty consciousness, spread open like a cannibal plant ready to devour and consume it’s victims, overwhelmed her. She felt like those incompetent people and she despised herself for it.

The cold swept across her skin, tangling her hair. She knew what to do next, what she did every time she was done with a life. So she walked out of the city and into the woods miles away. Away from roads and civilization. She didn’t want anyone to see her and her wishes her granted. She walked for hours until she found a nice spot and began removing her clothes. Layers upon layers fell to the snow until she was left with nothing but the hair on her head to protect her. She let her body fall to the ground, leaves and ice crunching underneath her. Instinctively her body shivered, teeth clashing together. She could feel as each part of her body became numb, first her ears, all the way to the joints in her knees. 

Breath drifting from blue, unused lips escaped into the dead blanketed forest. Life itself losing its luster�"the one thing that kept her from teetering off into nothingness. She had stopped shivering hours ago, her body was conserving energy�"the little it had left. She lay naked in the blanket of ice unfeeling. She waited. She waited for whatever were to come next, her next life or what she most craved�"the empty void. The darkness that only comes to those who are done with their journey. Who have finished the quest of immortality and could finally be no more. 

“Let me die,” she said, it echoed against the frozen trees, taunting her. The forest laughed at her request, the wind shaking its limbs as tears fell from her eyes and froze on her cheeks.

Reviews

[Damien Thibodeaux]

I really like your style of writing. You definately have a dark side and are very good. You are able to paint feeling into your words and visions of the mind's eye. I wondered how many lives had brought this being to the point where she says, "Let me die." I liked this a lot.