Lost

a poem inspired by a drawing done by a friend

Lost 

 

lost in a state of mind

will he ever find

his way back to life

 

life

as what he thought

was love

 

love

the feeling that should be healing

from the burn of a

broken heart

 

 

Reviews

[KJVollaro]

Interesting form you've used here. I enjoy the last line/ first line repetition, it really works and adds to the intimacy of the piece. The only thing I would do to improve upon what you've got here is to add more to the second stanza. It not only has one less line than the others, but also is overall much shorter. It almost feels like something's missing when taken in context with the rest. The centering of the lines definitely works well, as does the coloring of the first lines. I don't think I've ever seen color used as a tool in poetry before. Overall, a very good piece that could benefit from some slight revision. Also, you may consider including a scan of the drawing that inspired this. I know I'm curious!

[-Adam-]

magnificent poem! I loved the way it flowed till the end. Great work Kali.

[Lady Of Darkness]

Great write the only thing i would change is instead of : Will he 'every' find to will he ever find.
I like all your stanzas they flow nicely together.