I want to touch you

Just for once I want to touch you 

Then i shall be something new 

something like a green leaf 

or may be grass you don't belief 

may be beat of your heart 

may be the colours of your art 

may be rain or wave of the sea 

may be the loneliness of a tree 

I want to touch you just for once

Then i shall be the history history of one's 

history of loneliness or history of a rain drop 

or the paddy field of a farmer or crop 

Reviews

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

Love the first stanza! It fell apart (for me) in the second line of the second stanza but I appreciate the form, the simplicity and the word choices. The third stanza is really good too. I think a comma in the second line of the fourth stanza might help; right there between the "history history." Also, you may want to consider losing the apostrophe in "one's." I say that only because the possession/ownership is unclear (again, to me.) The last couplet is a great ending but the logical connectives are somewhat vague without more logical support from the previous lines. But, you just keep getting better and better, Dupur! :)

[KAOlmsted]

Your longing for her has produced a very nice piece. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A lovely gentle piece ful of love.

[Nautili]

It shows the interconnectedness of humanity; when we are being the most real and vulnerable and true, we are the mosrt human. i like the small i, like e.e. cummings, and also the fact that when you mention touching her, it is a capital I, like that is the most important part of you, your love for her.

[Icelanna]

Love the couplets here. Make sure you capitalize you letters and also the word "belief" doesn't seem right, Maybe "believe" would fit better?
Love it.
Love to you x

[s y e]

Lovely description in your poetry. Lovely poem!! Well done.

One thing:
Make sure you you capitalize your 'I'

Really good.

[emmajoy]

Each couplet here tells a story, each thought is a need, desire, dream ..
even to feel the brief breath of another person is precious - and more is.. well, that's treasure unforgettable! ' Just for once I want to touch you ~ Then i shall be something new . ' and that's how it can be when the moment's right.

[Tarry Franck]

Nicely done

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem. The human touch is needed. The touch make us feel alive and needed. A wise person return the touch of love. I like the description in your poem.
"I want to touch you just for once
Then i shall be the history history of one's "
Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote