lightning now flickers

You are not the source

Or the port

Of my anguish

 

To be

To seem, to say

Otherwise

Is falsity

 

I’ve loved you

love you

And without you

I ache

 

It’s frightening

This urge to

Escape

To purge

 

This tearing I feel

Self-inflicted,

absorbed

 

It’s been there long

Long before you

For this

I am deeply sorry

 

Now lightning brightens

And eyes become wide

Within change

Not wanted or sought

 

Yet

 

It comes nonetheless

It always comes

Bringing me to my knees

Breathless

 

As I realize

It is me

Who seeks pain