Dying Inside

To anyone who's pretending to be strong

Here I am lying on my bed

Patiently still and trying to comprehend

Staring blankly at the worn out ceiling

What is this that I'm feeling?

I stood up silently and walked to the window

I am engulfed by the sun's rays and see my shadow

I looked outside and see everyone busy

Is there something good that's waiting for me today?

I looked away and remembered my childhood memories

I then sat down and contemplate life's uncertainties

Why do I feel so lost and tired?

I hugged myself, paralleled my knees and cried.

I wanna go back to the days when life was just so easy

Flying kites, eating candies and running happily almost everyday

But getting old is something that is inevitable

It will come to you hastily like a rolling ball.

I stood up from crying and composed myself

I walked slowly and grabbed something from my shelf

"I'm gonna wear this today to feel like i'm on top."

But deep inside i'm dying, and no amount of make up can make it stop.

Reviews

[¿]

Definitely when a person surpasses from the most of his/her depression wants to run backwards to where life was almost sorted and joyous....I loved reading all the stanzas here ...that came deep down from you!! Keep writing😊

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Almost a poetic interpretation of 'Gerascophobia' - this is the fear of growing old or of old age. Your wordplay creates the imagery and the format reflects the subject matter of the piece nicely. Good write … :-)

[Jane Jinh]

I am torn between wanting to do what I want and doing what the norms of life offer me to do. That's why I am just pouring all my emotions in my writings. Thank you so much for taking time to read and appreciate my piece. It is such a great mood changer. :)

[sette]

it is a nice writing since it speaks from the heart but then courage will always start with oneself and through accepting realities in life

[Jane Jinh]

Thank you so much for the appreciation. I am starting to be more brave right now.