sunshine

sunshine

A Poem by aspen

my head is buzzing with intoxicated love

I'm gazing at you so deeply,
my heart pounding from your touch

you place your lips so gently on mine,
every vein in my body bursts into flames

I look you over,
beauty radiates inside and out

my body is aching to hold you forever,
to make sure nothing ever hurts you again

you're all my heart ever talks about

© 2018 aspen


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Featured Review

This is an enthusiastic read. I swear I can feel the leaping fondness you express. Rarely have I ever read a love poem that leaps off the page this way. The last line is brilliant -- the kind of idea we all wish we'd thought of! I totally get this feeling, except without the "other person" (just high on life) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Your on the right track... I like your poem

last word ' anymore' kinda messes up the rhythm?

But yeah I hear where leaving it off has an emptiness.




Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cute love poem ... haven't we all felt this way before? If this were my piece and I wanted to write a second draft, I'd make the following changes.

My head buzzes with intoxicated love

As I gaze at you so deeply,
heart still pounding from your touch

You place your lips gently on mine,
every vein in my body is aflame

I look at you,
see beauty radiating all around

My body aches to hold you forever,
so that nothing ever hurts you again

You're all my heart will ever desire.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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This is an enthusiastic read. I swear I can feel the leaping fondness you express. Rarely have I ever read a love poem that leaps off the page this way. The last line is brilliant -- the kind of idea we all wish we'd thought of! I totally get this feeling, except without the "other person" (just high on life) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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347 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 25, 2018
Last Updated on May 11, 2018
Tags: romance, love, happiness, dopamine, euphoria, LGBTQ

Author

aspen
aspen

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