Social Smoker

A short story about a smoking, social situations, and anxiety.

Social Smoker

A short story by Mugen Styles

 

A bong begins to bubble and smoke gathers within the glass until thick and milky.

GIRL: You better clear that.

BOY: I’m going to be way too high.

GIRL: Oh stop, you’ll be fine.

The boy raises the “water pipe” to his mouth and rips that s**t.

He sets it down on the coffee table in front of him and coughing ensues

GIRL: Nice.

He grabs an Aquafina bottle and takes a swig.

BOY: You’re turn.

She repeats the routine; pack, light, inhale, exhale.

A couple more hits and the two stand up from the tattered sofa that resides inside a screened in porch.

 

            They go inside, but only to put the smoking gear away; bong, lighter, jar, grinder, tray. Check. Back out, this time through the front door. The girl opens it and walks out. The boy grabs a set of keys off a rack and follows shutting the door behind him without locking it. Click. The doors unlock with a press of the button and the black Benz starts itself. The boy walks over to the passenger door and opens it motioning towards the seat.

 

BOY: Where to Miss Daisy?

GIRL: Oh shush.

She gets in the car and shuts the door.

The boy gets in the driver’s side.

BOY: Really, where to?

GIRL: Go to Jaz’s place first, but I need to get to the mall eventually.

BOY: The mall? It’s Saturday, do we have to? You know it’s gonna be busy as hell.

GIRL: Uh duh, I gotta get something, what happened to me being Miss Daisy, drive me

chauffeur!

She nudges him with her elbow, gives him a smirk, and kisses him on the cheek.

BOY: Nice try girl.

He throws the car in reverse and flies out of the driveway causing the girl’s head to hit her seat.

He laughs, she’s pissed.

GIRL: Dick.

BOY: Oh it was an accident.

GIRL: Yeah sure, I’ll show you an accident.

She balls her fist and shakes it at him.

BOY: Well aren’t you cute.

Unnoticeable to the girl, the boy starts to tense up a little turning onto the highway.

He leans forward a tad and begins to focus on driving.

Five minutes go by driving along the road like this.

GIRL: You’re quiet.

BOY: I think I’m just high, let’s put some music on.

GIRL: Drake?

BOY: Go for it.

She puts in a self-burned cd that was most likely pirated with the words “If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late” written on it plainly. “Legend” starts playing.

GIRL: I’ll tell you when to turn whenever we get close.

BOY: Okay thanks.

A few tracks go by. The girl saying a line every now and then.

The boy doing the same but with different lines.

Every once in a while they both say the same line.

He drives slowly, a mile or so under the speed limit keeping an eye out for cops

BOY: Do you have anything on you?

GIRL: Yeah, just a g or two, Jaz wanted to roll a blunt.

BOY: Why did we smoke before we left then?

GIRL: Why not?

BOY: How are my eyes?

He looks over at her for a second. The car starts rolling over the rumble strip so he looks back and straightens out the vehicle.

GIRL: They don’t look too bad.

BOY: Cool.

A few more minutes go by.

GIRL: Here’s the turn, up by that sign.

 

They turn down a dirt road, a billboard lies slanted, broken down. Behind it a police cruiser is parked facing away from the dirt road and towards the main road. The cop inside it has his door open and his hand outside the car with a radar gun pointed in front of him. His face looks down at an iPhone. The Mercedes passes by unnoticed and falls behind a tree line beyond the officer’s possible range of sight. A left here, a few miles. A right there, a few more miles and the car arrives in a brick driveway that loops around a fountain. Bright green grass envelops the landscape and a two-story brick house that matches the driveway sits at the end of a stone pathway that connects the two. The boy notices all of this and feels like he’s looking at it for the first time, really taking everything in even though he’s probably been here closer to a million times.

 

BOY: Is she home? Her car isn’t here.

GIRL: Yeah she’s getting it worked on, that’s why I had to give her a ride to work

yesterday remember?

BOY: Oh yeah, you did say that.

They walk up to the house and ring the doorbell.

Dogs start barking and movement can be seen through the mosaic oval window in the middle of the door.

The door opens and a smiling face pops up.

JAZ: Hey you two! I was wondering when you’d get here, what’s up?

GIRL: Oh we’re just headed to the mall, couldn’t come through town without seeing

you girlie.

JAZ: Oh don’t I know it. You brought dat bud right?

GIRL: Of course, you got dem blunts?

JAZ: Right here b***h, White Owl White Grape.

GIRL: Actually haven’t had one of those in a while, remember when these were like the only blunts anyone would ever buy?

JAZ: Totally, it was like grape or nothing for some reason, I feel like that lasted a

while too.

GIRL: It definitely did.

The conversation continues as Jaz splits a blunt, pours out the tobacco, and stuffs it with herb.

Within sixty seconds a blunt is rolled.

The boy stares at the table they all ended up sitting at.

BOY: I wonder what type of wood this was made out of.

The girls continue their conversation and by the time the boy looks up another blunt is rolled.

One girl lights the first and the other lights the second.

GIRL: Can you believe we missed the vote by like two percent?

JAZ: F*****g ridiculous.

BOY: Can you imagine all the stoners who just forgot to vote? I bet that would have

made up the two percent.

JAZ: I believe it, I didn’t get a chance to.

BOY: Wait so you didn’t even vote?

JAZ: No.

BOY: You should have.

JAZ: Like I don’t know that now.

GIRL: I’m getting a drink, anyone else want anything?

BOY: A water.

JAZ: Grab me that bottle of wine on the counter in there.

Two blunts go by along with a couple glasses of wine for Jaz. The girl pours a glass as well but only finishes half of it. They chat a little more and then all hug goodbye. Jaz hands the girl the two roaches and her and the boy head out the door.

GIRL: Bye Jasmine, see you soon girl.

BOY: Hasta.

JAZ: Peace you guys.

The door shuts behind them.

BOY: Now I’m really too high.

GIRL: You didn’t have to smoke.

BOY: I know.

They get in the car and start back down the dirt road.

BOY: I hope that cop isn’t still there.

GIRL: We’re fine.

BOY: Did you use everything?

GIRL: No we still have a little, Sherry texted me and said to come over to her and

David’s real quick so they could pay us back.

BOY: She lives by that Wal-Mart right?

GIRL: Mhmm.

They get to the end of the dirt and turn onto the main road. The police car pulls out a few moments after them.

BOY: Of course.

GIRL: Just relax, we’re not doing anything wrong.

BOY: I know, but still, I’m just paranoid.

The boy’s heart starts racing, but he continued on his path.

 

They went through a few intersections but the cop still trailed them. Eventually they pass a Wal-Mart. The boy was about to turn down a side street when he sees a bright flash in his rearview mirror. Red and blue. His heart starts pounding even faster as he pulls over onto the side of the road. The girl takes the little baggie of bud and roaches and goes to hide it in the only place an officer wouldn’t be able to find it; Mother Nature’s pocket. As she’s doing so the cruiser zooms by and the boy lets out a big breath. He pulls out slowly and gets back on the road.

 

BOY: God I hate cops.

GIRL: Well they wouldn’t be bad if it was just legal, it’s a plant for god’s sake.

BOY: Yeah, I don’t think I could ever feel comfortable around a cop high whether it’s

legal or not. Not after it being illegal all this time at least.

GIRL: I don’t know, I think if a cop passed me a blunt I’d be able to be comfortable with

it.

BOY: You’re crazy. I mean, I don’t know, maybe, but f**k.

 

They pull down a side street and park in the driveway of a house that can’t compare to Jaz’s, but is still pretty decent looking. They exit the car and walk right in the front door without the slightest knock. Inside Gucci Mane is being played louder than necessary. The inside of the house looks like someone just moved in, not too much furniture, the walls are fairly bare, and all the carpet has been pulled up for renovations that still haven’t ever happened. The boy takes all of this in and it seems like it’s the first time he’s really seen it all. Even though he’s probably been there closer to a million times. He observes and dissects everything he’s seeing and probably overthinks it all, but isn’t sure what he’s actually overthinking at the same time. Luckily David interrupts his space out session.

 

DAVID: Yo, bruh! How’s it going?

BOY: Aye man, pretty good, can’t complain.

DAVID: Hell yeah, we’re just hanging out in the smoke room.

They all walk to the back of the house where a hallway opens up to a fairly large room.  It’s dimly lit by a few different lamps. Bean bags cover the entire outer perimeter of the walls and blankets are hung up over the windows. Five separate TV dinner tray tables are set up at different increments around the room all holding various smoking devices. One has a couple homemade GB’s sitting on top of it. Another has a variety of pipes and a bubbler on top of it. One table holds three different bongs all with metal nail attachments. The fourth has some grinded up weed and pre-split blunts and the last one has a Volcano vaporizer. Sherry sits behind the table on a dark green bean bag sucking in the smoky contents of a plastic bag.

 

She exhales.

SHERRY: You guys are just in time, let me pack this for you.

GIRL: Throw this in there too.

She throws Sherry the bag with the remaining contraband.

SHERRY: Yesss, we about to get zooted.

She packs up the vape and everyone takes a seat.

The boy fiddles with a few beads that have escaped from their prison while the plastic bag goes around. Everyone continues to converse but it all blends in as he imagines the two beads as tiny comets, narrowly missing each other as they roll between his fingers. He wonders if there was a god of any sort if this is how it would feel to set things up. He places one bead down on the carpet-less floor and thinks about just how miniscule the Earth really is in the big picture.

DAVID: Dude, it’s your hit.

BOY: Oh, sorry.

He takes the bag and inhales without thinking. Couldn’t hurt at this point right?

DAVID: Ten dollars you can’t hold that in for a straight minute.

GIRL: You already owe us ten, you sure you wanna make it twenty?

DAVID: Let’s see, I don’t think he can do it.

The boy looks at both of them and lays back on his bean bag with a smug look on his face.

He closes his eyes and keeps his mouth shut. Thirty seconds go by.

DAVID: Thirty’s easy, the rough part’s after forty five.

Twenty more seconds go by. The boy puts his hands over his mouth to keep from letting go of his breath.

DAVID: No way dude! Just let it out!

Five, four, three, two, one...

HUUUUUUUUUUU, the boy takes in a deep breath.

BOY: You owe me twenty now fool.

DAVID: Whatever f**k boy, I still would’ve beat you if we were going head to head.

David pulls out his wallet and forks over a twenty.

 

The bag goes around a couple more times and a few people come in the room just to cop a hit and leave. David and Sherry always have people over no matter what time you come by. It’s just that house. The conversation changes subjects quite a bit and everyone agrees that they might meet up at the mall later. The boy stays silent for most of this, but listens intently to everything everyone is saying. Before leaving he heads to the bathroom, takes a piss and looks in the mirror.

 

BOY: I look so high.

He exits the bathroom and then the house. The hugs and ‘see ya laters’ occur outside and then both the boy and the girl are back in the car.

GIRL: You okay?

BOY: I just wanna go home.

GIRL: You’ll be fine once we get to the mall.

BOY: So many people.

GIRL: Stop whining, you’ll enjoy yourself.

BOY: If you say so.

 

They drive until finally the mall comes within view. After fifteen minutes of circling the parking lot a spot becomes available and the boy throws the Benz in park. He shuts the car off and looks around for sunglasses, which he of course forgot. Any Visine? Of course not. Spray? He reaches under the seat and pulls out a cologne bottle. He tries to spray it, but to no avail. Empty, but he is offered a piece of gum at least. That’s sure to calm the nerves.

 

GIRL: Here, its dragon fruit.

BOY: Tight.

He pops the piece of gum in his mouth and starts chewing.

They open their doors and start walking up to Forever 21.

Cars maneuver around them. Horns can be heard in the distance and someone’s car alarm is going off.

BOY: Isn’t it weird how much stuff is always going on that we don’t really pay attention

to?

GIRL: What are you talking about?

BOY: Just like, all the noise and activity happening in the world. Usually we just pass it

all by and focus on what we’re doing, our main objective, but I don’t know, I’ve just

been taking it all in today and it’s fascinating, overwhelming, and just kind of strange

overall.

She giggles.

GIRL: You are too high.

BOY: That’s what I’ve been saying all day.

GIRL: Oh, I’m just messing with you.

They enter the store and time stops. Almost every face slowly turns and looks at the boy. Staring him dead in the eyes. They all whisper “we knowwww.” The boy rubs his eyes and looks back and everyone’s really just doing their own thing, Shopping, talking, on their phone, nobody’s actually looking at him except for quick glances.

 

BOY: Why does it always feel like everyone knows you’re high?

GIRL: Maybe they do, who cares.

BOY: Doesn’t it make you uncomfortable.

GIRL: Nah, f**k em. Do you boo boo.

The boy chuckles.

BOY: I guess you have a point there.

GIRL: I sure do, you can’t worry about what other people think.

BOY: I normally don’t, I’m just too high.

GIRL: No such thing.

BOY: Whatever.

The boy’s stomach rumbles.

GIRL: Time to eat!

BOY: I won’t argue with that.

 

They make a b-line for the opening that connects the store to the mall and start heading towards the food court. Dodging in and out of the heavy traffic crowding the public shopping center, the girl randomly grabs the boys arm and tries to drag him into Bath & Body Works. His stomach wins the argument and the quest for food continues. Once they reach the food court they immediately seek out the Chinese restaurant, no second guesses. The boy orders the sweet and sour chicken dinner combo with an extra side of fried rice and a couple egg rolls. The boy looks all around him, taking in the loud chatter. They decide to share the meal instead of ordering another combo, get their food and find a booth to sit in.

 

BOY: I never know where to look when I’m high. It’s so weird, I feel like I never even

think about where I’m looking when I haven’t smoked so why does it all of a sudden feel

like it takes so much thought just to know where I’m supposed to look. That Chinese

guy was looking at me so weird, it felt like I was making too much eye contact.

GIRL: That Chinese guy probably rolls the fattest blunt when he gets home.

The boy laughs.

BOY: You always have all the answers don’t you.

GIRL: Of course I do, ask and you shall receive as I say.

BOY: I don’t think you’ve ever said that, at least not to me, maybe to some other guys.

GIRL: Oh wow, yepp I’m a s**t now.

BOY: At least you’re my s**t.

The boy looks at her and grins.

They joke around some more while finishing up the Chinese food.

Once they eat the last bit they stand up. The boy grabs their trash.

BOY: That was so dank, one good thing about being so high, food is always amazing.

GIRL: You said it, here give me that.

She takes the trash and throws it away

GIRL: Now time to do what we came here for!

BOY: Yeah, whatever that is.

The girl pulls out a Lumia, taps the screen a couples times and holds it up to her ear.

GIRL: We’ll be at the spot in 5.

She hangs up without waiting for a response. She starts walking and the boy follows.

BOY: Who was that?

GIRL: Jerry.

BOY: That guy from twitter?

GIRL: Yeah I DM’d him the other day and he told me he was in the area and had some wax

he was trying to get rid of, a quarter for $250, how can I pass up a deal like that?

BOY: So this whole trip is just for more weed? I should’ve known.

GIRL: No this whole trip is so we can dab ourselves to oblivion silly.

The boy looks at her like “really?”

GIRL: Don’t give me that look, you won’t be complaining when you’re coughing your a*s

off tonight.

BOY: That’s because I’ll be coughing my a*s off not being able to get a word in, but

you’re right, I mean have to admit two fifty is crazy for a quarter of that s**t. Last

question though, where is “the place”?

GIRL: Oh just outside behind the mall, I guess he has a friend that lives pretty close by.

He crashes with him when he comes over here. He moves state to state and stays in

each one for a month or so then moves on again. He was just in Colorado, that’s where

the wax is from apparently.

BOY: Ahhh okay, the price makes a little more sense now. But damn, sounds like a

pretty chill life to me, besides the whole ‘transporting illegal substances in order to

fund the travel expenses’ part.

GIRL: I’m pretty sure that’s the biggest part, you just like the idea of traveling.

BOY: Can’t argue with you there.

They open the double doors in front of them, exit the mall, and start heading to the back lot where mostly shipments come in. Other than that the place is a wasteland, nothing but asphalt and doors that are most likely emergency exits to different stores. The girl goes and sits along a wall, patting the space beside her. The boy goes and sits down. He looks in the distance and can see someone walking in their direction, at this point he’s still a long way off, a pale yellow house behind him.

 

BOY: You think that’s him?

GIRL: Not sure, maybe.

BOY: This is so sketchy, don’t even try and say it’s not.

GIRL: Hey, it could be worse.

BOY: Why didn’t we just go there?

The boy points at the yellow house.

GIRL: Parents aren’t cool with it.

BOY: But they are cool with some random kid staying at their house?

GIRL: Ap”PARENT”ly.

BOY: …God that was horrible.

They both laugh. The girl looks relaxed, the boy still a little tense.

The walking figure gets close enough to make out his appearance.

GIRL: Yepp, that’s totally Jerry, I can tell from the bucket hat.

BOY: I don’t see why more people don’t wear those.

GIRL: He has some tight hats, some website called Corrupt Youth or something.

BOY: Hmm, might need to check that out.

GIRL: You should bae.

She smiles at him and stands up.

He slaps her a*s.

GIRL: UGHH.

BOY: Oh, you like it.

He stands up as well.

Jerry approaches.

JERRY: Yo, what it do you two?

GIRL: Chillin, nice to actually meet you.

JERRY: Same, same. Here’s that s**t you wanted, sticky as f**k, I’ve been keeping it in

the freezer to keep it hard. You got a silicone container right?

GIRL: Yeah totally, here’s da mullah my friend.

They exchange product for cash.

Jerry reaches in his button up pocket and pulls out a joint.

JERRY: Care for a quick j?

BOY: Here?

GIRL: Of course! Light that b***h up.

Jerry lights the joint and takes a nice long drag.

It gets passed around a few times.

Nearing its end, the boy receives the joint and as he’s hitting it someone shouts from afar.

SOMEONE: HEY! WHAT ARE YOU KIDS DOING?

The boy turns around and sees a heavyset mall cop starting to run, which is more like a jog for him.

BOY: Oh f**k.

JERRY: Toss that s**t bruh.

The boy throws the joint down and they all start running back to the front parking lot.

Luckily they turn a corner and get out of securities sight, hiding behind some overly large potted plants. ‘Paul Blart’ comes heaving around the corner, trying to catch his breath.

MALL COP: Where *BREATH* did those *BREATH* damn kids go. * DEEP BREATH*

He keeps walking, passing up the bunch.

GIRL: Guess we picked a good hiding place.

JERRY: No kidding, you guys mind dropping me back off at Ben’s?

GIRL: Not at all, wouldn’t want you walking back just in case hefty’s still on patrol.

Trying to make the mall a better place by ruining a nice joint.

BOY: Yeah no problem man. And did you say Ben’s? So… you guys are like… Ben and Jerry?

His house better be stocked with ice cream.

Jerry laughs.

JERRY: Got damn, you guys are tight, but no, he ain’t got s**t for food.

 

They all walk back to the Benz, the boy checking over his shoulder every few seconds to make sure nobody noticed their retreat. They get close to the car and the boy unlocks and starts it before it they get in. The cop yells again but when the boy looks he doesn’t see anything. He decides he must be hearing things, and that he definitely didn’t need that joint. They all get in the car, the boy in the drivers, the girl sitting passenger, and Jerry in the back laying across all three seats.

JERRY: Damn you two living lavish, self-starting Mercedes, dropping a couple stacks on

some wax.

BOY: Inheritance. My parents died in a plane crash when I was young, been with this girl

since. Kind of stuck with her.

GIRL: Oh wow, thanks.

BOY: I’m joking, you know that baby. But yeah man, we’ve been living off it since I

turned eighteen.

JERRY: Sorry to hear that man, looks like it worked out though, you two seem pretty

perfect for each other.

BOY: Can’t complain with how things turned out.

GIRL: I sure can.

She punches the boys shoulder.

JERRY: Well hell, there’s a party later tonight up on the west side of town, you guys are

more than welcome to come. I heard this guy is going to attempt to roll a six foot blunt

out of Cuban cigars.

BOY: The f**k? That sounds like enough to get the whole town high.

JERRY: You know it son, Yung Mac goes hard. I’ll DM you the address.

GIRL: Well how can we say no to that, count us in Jer!

JERRY: Straight. I’ll see you guys later tonight then.

The boy pulls up to the yellow house and Jerry gets out of the car.

JERRY: Peace homies.

BOY: Hasta.

  GIRL: See ya later!

They pull away and start heading home.

GIRL: S**t I forgot about Sherry, I hope they aren’t still going to the mall.

She makes a quick call, finds out she isn’t, then spills the party details and invites Sherry and David.

BOY: Are you sure we should invite someone to a party that isn’t ours?

GIRL: They aren’t going to come anyways, they said they’re busy tonight, I just felt bad

for leaving the mall so fast without thinking of them.

BOY: Oh okay, I gotchya. About this party…

GIRL: Yeah?

BOY: Are we really going? I mean you didn’t even give me a chance to think about not

doing it.

GIRL: Well if you don’t go who’s gonna drive me?

She smirks.

The boy looks distressed.

BOY: I guess.

GIRL: Oh just come with me, a six foot blunt, how aren’t we going to have a good time?

BOY: I’m not going to know anyone that’s there.

GIRL: Neither am I.

BOY: But you’re good with people.

The car falls silent.

 

They keep driving until they reach the house. They walk in the front door and the boy heads to the bedroom burrowing his face in a pillow. The girl starts finding clothes for the party and packs a bag with various things. A lighter, the wax, a nail head, some spray, a couple Sprites, and other miscellaneous items. The boy mumbles into the pillow.

           

GIRL: What was that?

BOY: I just wanna sleep forever.

GIRL: That’s called dying.

BOY: Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.

GIRL: Are you gonna get ready?

BOY: Can we relax for a minute.

GIRL: You can, party time for me mufukka.

BOY: Just get me that button up with the cherries on it.

GIRL: Yes sir!

She goes and gets it and throws it at his face.

GIRL: Now get ready ya bum.

BOY: Alright, I am, I am.

 

They both get ready for the night, the boy slowly, the girl excitedly. She talks him into smoking again and so they go to the back porch and take a couple dabs, commenting on the high quality of the wax. A few minutes later and the only word that can describe the two is faded. They decide to leave in an hour and watch anime until then. Samurai Champloo to be exact. Eventually the clock rolls around to 6pm. The boy tries to convince the girl to stay home with him, but she gets him to give in. They head out, the CD in the car happens to be playing “6pm in New York.” The girl checks twitter and puts the address Jerry DM’d her in her Lumia.

 

BOY: Thank god for GPS.

GIRL: You gotta love it.

 

They follow the phone’s directions as the sun starts to set. The visors in the car have to be put down and fortunately the girl had packed sunglasses for each of them in her bag of wonders, so those were a big help. The CD ends and the girl puts in “thest4ndard.”

They make it to the party, only missing one turn on the way there thanks to technology. The boy takes a deep breath and gets out of the car with the girl. There’s literally people everywhere. The place is pretty secluded so not too much of a chance the cops would get called, but the property itself is very large. The front yard has about thirty to forty different vehicles parked all over the place with people standing around certain ones. The house looks more like a miniature mansion and people can be heard splashing around in a pool that must be out back. From the sound of it 2 Chainz is blaring inside, but Lil B can still be heard outside playing from some anonymous vehicle.

 

GIRL: Jerry’s out back, wanna go meet up with him?

BOY: Yeah, at least I’ve known him for 10 minutes, I don’t even recognize anyone else.

 

They head out back where there is a huge in ground pool as well as a hot tub and even one of those infinity pools. Large landscaping rocks are set up in places, as well as some bird fountains. Flowers are planted all over the place and there’s trimmed shrubs that look like pot leafs. A long dining room table is outside as well with a crowd of people surrounding it. One of them is Jerry, his hand shoots up when he sees the two of them.

 

JERRY: Yo over here guys!

They walk over to the table where a six foot blunt is actually being attempted. People are chanting “ROLL UP.”

A guy stands at the table rubbing his hands together maniacally.

JERRY: That’s Yung Mac. This is his place so make sure to introduce yourselves when

you get the opportunity. He’s made a fortune from his music and some side business

ventures. He's not well known at all, but he’s pretty f*****g rich. His parties are always

the s**t.

GIRL: And he’s really gonna roll that thing?

JERRY: Oh yeah, no doubt fam.

BOY: Has he tried this before?

JERRY: It’s a tradition, every month they’ve been adding a foot. So I hear at least, I’ve

just been connected to Mac from Twitter, first actual shindig I’ve been able to come to.

Yung Mac starts grabbing handfuls of weed and stuffs the shell of the blunt.

YUNG MAC: WE GOT OG. WE GOT BLUE DREAM. WE GOT SOUR D MUFUKKAS!

The people around him cheers.

YUNG MAC: DON’T FORGET PART OF THE FAM, OL’ GRANDADDY PURP.

They go wild again.

BOY: This guy’s pretty eccentric.

JERRY: Oh Mac, yeah this n***a’s crazy, I saw a Vine of him jumping off his roof, onto a

trampoline, and then into a pool.

GIRL: Holy s**t.

JERRY: Yeah he ain’t one to f**k around, he goes all in or not at all.

GIRL: Hence the six foot blunt, how do you even smoke that thing?

BOY: That’s what I was wondering.

JERRY: Oh you’ll see.

Yung Mac gets the blunt stuffed and spreads out his arms.

YUNG MAC: Now is the time we must come together and bring this monster into

existence my friends. Now is the time we reach a new level of enlightenment, the sixth

stage. Come forth everyone. Let’s seal this b***h!

Everyone pushes forward to the table and starts helping Mac seal the blunt.

JERRY: C’mon guys!

Jerry leads the boy and the girl into the chaos.

People are switching in and out so everyone can get a lick in.

Kinda gross, but kinda cool at the same time. It seems like only seconds later that the impossible has been made possible, the six foot blunt is rolled.

YUNG MAC: That’s what I’m talking about people, now to the fireplace!

They all cheer again and the blunt is hoisted up and carried like a crowd surfer.

BOY: The fireplace?

JERRY: Oh yeah baby, that’s where they’re gonna light this beast.

GIRL: That is beyond awesome.

They all follow the crowd into the house and watch as the blunt is lowered down next to a fireplace the size of a masonry oven.

Yung Mac clears his throat.

YUNG MAC: We have all been brought here today to enjoy this beautiful green gift

mother Earth has showered us with. We shall ignite it in her name, as well as in the

name of all growers and connections that made this very moment possible. We ignite

this gift as a sign of prosperity and hope for a bright future and with that the lighting

shall begin!

Someone from the crowd starts inching the blunt towards the flames while Mac sits on a couch that is perfectly distanced from the fireplace itself with the other end of the blunt in his mouth.

The blunt makes contact and Mac inhales as deep as what seems humanly possible.

Smoke is produced, and once again the crowd cheers.

People take turns sitting on the couch hitting the blunt including Jerry, the boy, and the girl.

Not surprisingly everyone gets multiple turns.

BOY: This crazy.

JERRY: Yeah man, this crazy, I don’t think I’m ever so high.

GIRL: Ha ha, you two can’t talk even.

In their haze, speakers are turned on and Mac stands up on a raised section that sort of resembles a stage within the house.

YUNG MAC: Blunt. Measurement in feet, it was six / They said they don’t believe me,

I said I got pics / They said what type of weed, I told em it was mixed /They asked how

I did it, I said it’s all in the wriiiist / list all the reasons that I’m dope, can’t do it / fist

clenched climbing up the rope, steady moving / vision of the top, I got hope, I can reach

it / standing on a stage in my home, Mac’s preaching.

At this point a bunch of people have gathered around to hear Mac freestyle and random “woop’s” and “daaaamn’s” are heard from the crowd at the end of each line.

JERRY: Man this guy is too good.

GIRL: Does he have some mixtape or something I can hear?

JERRY: I got you girl, check your dm’s later I’ll send you some links for his downloads.

The voices as well as the faces of the crowd mixed with the feedback from the speakers start to overwhelm the boy.

BOY: Where’s the bathroom?

JERRY: There’s a few different ones, closest ones right over there.

Jerry points to a hallway.

JERRY: Third door on the right man.

The boy gets up and heads to the bathroom, walks in and locks the door behind him. He looks in the mirror and his entire appearance just looks strange, he sits down against a wall and closes his eyes. Everything pulses around him and he can’t concentrate on any one thing. It’s like his brain has just left him. He contemplates going back out but doesn’t know what he’s going to say or do when he actually gets back out there. He lays down on the bathroom floor and just wants to go to sleep. Just as he starts to doze off there’s a knock at the door.

GIRL: You okay sweets?

The boy stands up and unlocks the door. The girl opens it, walks in and shuts it behind her.

BOY: I overdid it, I need to go to the car or something.

GIRL: We all overdid it, but are you sure you don’t just wanna come back out there and

have a good time? We’re all high, it’s not like anyone cares.

BOY: It’s not about everyone else, it’s about how I feel. I just can’t do this.

GIRL: Okay… well I’m here if you need anything, please come back if you feel better, I’ll

check on you if you want me to.

BOY: No just have fun, I’ll see you later okay?

GIRL: Alright, love you.

BOY: Yeah, you too.

The boy looks as if his mind is in a completely different world.

They exit the bathroom and part ways.

The girl heads back towards Jerry who is now standing with Mac in the kitchen getting a drink.

JERRY: I totally gotta smoke you out for that s**t man, whenever I re-up it’s on.

YUNG MAC: F**k that s**t dude, I smoked with everyone because I wanted all of you to

be as high as me, I don’t want anyone feeling like they have to pay me back.

GIRL: Hey guys, I’m back!

JERRY & MAC: Yo girl!

The boy exits the house and heads to the car.

JERRY: Where’s he going?

GIRL: Wasn’t feeling good, he’s gonna go sit out in the car for a bit.

JERRY: Ahh we all been there, I know that much.

They continue their conversation as the boy reaches the car and gets in the back seat. He plops down face first and groans. He lays there and eventually his mind stops racing enough to fall asleep. Hours pass, the party goes on. He wakes up every once in a while and looks at the clock. 9:38 pm. Then 11:49 pm. 1:22 am. The final time he wakes up is from a knock at the window. He looks over at the time again, 3:28 am. The girl looks in through the window, her hands cupped around her eyes.

GIRL: Helloooo? Mind letting me in?

The boy shuffles, gets up and unlocks the doors for her. He goes to get out of the car but she hops in the driver’s seat.

GIRL: No, no, no, I’m driving.

The boy doesn’t argue, instead he lays back down.

She grabs the keys from his pocket and starts the car.

BOY: Have fun?

GIRL: Definitely, they still haven’t settled down in there but I can’t go on any longer.

Don’t worry by the way, I didn’t drink any, just smoked a good bit more. Met Mac and he

was f*****g awesome, said we could come back anytime and gave me a couple CD’s to

listen to.

BOY: What all happened?

GIRL: Where do I start? There was a slip and slide and one point, in the house that is. This

guy had a live wolf and was just walking it around on a leash. Mac put out the fire out

and blocked the chimney so no smoke could escape, then lit a whole pound in it so that

the whole house was hot-boxed.

BOY: Damn.

GIRL: That’s really only the start of it, I wish you would’ve stayed.

BOY: Yeah I think I would’ve… had more…

GIRL: You’re falling asleep babe, had more what?

BOY: Oh, I think I would have had more fun if I just didn’t smoke today.

GIRL: I’m sorry.

BOY: It’s not your fault, sometimes I just feel like I can handle things a lot better without

smoking.

GIRL: I can understand that, next time just don’t smoke okay?

The boy was already asleep again.

The girl sighs and drives until they’re home.

She wakes him up and they both get in bed. They fall asleep laying together.

 

A few hours pass, the sun rises and brings light to the room. The boy and girl start to stir and eventually wake up. They go back to sleep and wake up again a few more times until they finally decide to actually get up. The boy eats some breakfast while the girl gets ready for the day. When he’s done eating he goes back in the room where the girl is all dressed up rolling a blunt. She finishes as he sits down. She lights it up and takes a hit.

 

GIRL: You want some?

The boy shrugs.

BOY: Sure.

He takes a hit and it starts all over again.