The Final Cut

The T is for a single wordy dird.

These things I write you'll never read,

Because you're just so f*****g hard to please.

If I cut myself to pieces,

Engrave your name inside my heart;

Still you would degrade me,

For the letters spaced too far apart.

As the gap between us grows,

A cavern of betrayal.

In the end you'll see me smiling,

Outside your self created hell,

You keep on my toes,

'Cause even now you clearly know...

With every wound so thoughtlessly inflicted,

Even stronger than you depicted;

I'll set you in your place.

Ten fold the tears I've cried,

For every "She's hurt me." That I've spoke....

And when through pictures you finally see,

She looks completely just like me,

The most beautiful thing you've ever seen;

You'll look back and ask yourself,

"Was this because of me?"

Reviews

[xxx]

First, I must say I enjoyed the vulgar language. Typically I frown upon it in writing because there are just so many other great words out there, but there are exceptions, and this is one. It just sets the mood, the urgency and emotion with which you speak. It really gets your point across. It definitely helps that you didn't over-do it.

Second, I would like to add that writing about writing is probably one of my favorites. I love poems about poetry, about how your words make you feel, or about how you want your words to affect others. You specifically don't write about this topic enough, and so it's fresh for you. I like it that way.

Now, I would like to point out that in stanza two you might want to put a hyphen in line four between "self" and "created." I think it would read better as one hyphenated word, but that might just be my own opinion. The ellipse at the end of your stanzas are great, they create a dramatic pause and build suspense, but don't over-do them. Some readers don't like them at all used that way. Personally, I do, but don't abuse them.

The third stanza has me wondering who your subject might be. Who is this she? I like that you don't quite answer that until the last stanza, but even then it's left to the imagination.

You're a great writer, Asher. I enjoy everything you write. Keep the talent alive.