A New Band or Bust

The owner of a Hollywood heavy metal record label needs a new act in order to make money. His A&R rep go to see a new and up-and-coming band at a Sunset Strip heavy metal club.

A NEW BAND OR BUST

 

 

 

 

 

     “Four grand is just too high man”, said Rick Jones, the hip new owner of Rocket Records in Hollywood. His office was plastered with posters of all the big rock stars! Pulling his long blond hair back into a ponytail, with his feet plopped on  top if his messy desk, he continued,“I can't afford that kind of dough man. It'll bankrupt me. All I can pay you is just two grand. I'm just a small independent label. I'm not one of the majors. Sorry.”

          As he hung up the phone, he picked up that day's Los Angeles Times. He soon thundered out, “Hey Scottie, get in here quick!”

     “What's up man?,” exclaimed Scottie, Rick's new artist rep. He hustled into Rick's office.

     Shoving the paper into Scottie's face, Rick exclaimed, “Look at this, man! Look at this new band!”

      “Hmm. Explosive Thunder! Wow man! That's outta sight!” Scottie replied. Grabbing the paper right out of Rick's hand, Scottie continued, “They're from right here in L.A. They play a lot of heavy metal, man. Ya know. Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Aerosmith, Bruce Springsteen, KISS, Alice Cooper, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Metallica,Twisted Sister, Foghat, Foreigner, Marilyn Manson,70's punk, and some new material. They've been playing at clubs all up and down the West Coast. They're opening up tonight at the Punk Palace right here on Sunset. Says here that they're looking for a record deal and some airplay.”

     With the L.A. Times still in front of him, Scottie continued with an puzzled look on his face. “Oh man. They've been turned down by twenty labels so far. None of the majors will touch them, man. They need a record deal and fast.”

     “We're goin to see this new band tonight, man,” replied Rick. “I need a new act right away. One that'll row in a lot of dough.”

      “What's wrong with the bands that we have now man?” Scottie asked.

       “Plenty man,” replied Rick.  “I'm about to drop three of them 'cause they're not sellin. Two of the others are still out on tour man and I haven't seen the dough rollin in yet.”

      “I know what you mean man,” said Scottie. “No radio station in town will touch new artists.”

      “Man, you know no radio station wants new talent. They want the big ones. Ya know. The ones that really rake in the dough!” retorted Rick. Suddenly, a light went off in Rick's head. “Whoa! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Zack Halliday! That's it! Zack Halliday!”

      “Who's that, man?” Scottie asked.

      “He's the Program Director at KCLA, man,” replied Rick. “He has a show on Sunday nights that spotlights new talent. A lot of these acts got record deals, man.  Man, I gotta give this cat a call. See if he'll come to the show tonight. Maybe he can get them some airplay.”

      Rick hurried back into his office and jumped on the phone. “Yo Zack!” Rick exclaimed excitedly. “Remember me man? We were at the radio convention in Vegas last month? Listen man, there's a new band opening up tonight at the Punk Palace right here on Sunset! They're called Explosive Thunder. My A & R rep, Scottie Lee, saw them in the Times. We're goin to see them tonight, man. I wanna hear how they sound; especially that new material, man. See if they're right for us, ya know. After the show, we can talk to the band's manager. See if we can't get a record deal, ya know. And perhaps some airplay? I listen to your show every Sunday night, man. Every new act means dough in my pockets, man.”

     Rick's face lit up with excitement. “Ah, that's great man! Yeah! The show starts at eight. I'll meetcha there at 7:30. Look for me in the white Cadillac sedan. Yeah. The Punk Palace. Right there at Sunset and La Brea. It's Friday night man, and that place is goin to be packed, man. All right, brother, I'll see ya then. Peace out.”

     As he hung up the phone, Rick jumped up with glee and exclaimed to Scottie. “Whoa! We did it man. Zack Halliday's comin to see the show with us tonight!”

    “Hey man, that's cool!” exclaimed Scottie. “By the way, man, who was that on the phone earlier?”

   “Some band's producer in Detroit,” replied Rick. “They want 420 grand for a session.”

   “Man, you know we can't afford four grand,” replied Scottie. “I just hope this new band doesn't put us in the poorhouse, man.”

    “I know what you mean, man,” replied Rick. “I need that dough and fast. Hope we come back with a new act! Come on, let's go man. I can't wait to see this new band. this new band. Let's come back with a record deal, man. Come on now. Give me some skin man. Yeah! Who knows man? We might make it to the Grammys and the American Music Awards. C'mon. Let's get that band signed up tonight so I can start makin some dough! Well here goes. Punk Palace! Here we come!”