I Guess its my story.

what it's like to be a dyslexic writer, a depressed comedian, a suicidal councillor, a preacher with social anxiety but most of all transgender teen who hates himself but enforces body positivity.

I guess this is my way to explain everything, everything which has ever ran through my head at night.. Like right now when I'm sat attempting to make a future for myself - slowly starting to realise; 'do I even have one?' I'm fifteen, and now you know that you're probably thinking 'oh, he's over reacting.' But am I? Really? I stand at the height of just under 5'5" yet most of the time the world makes me feel like I'm about 2ft tall...

Imagine that.

Get on your knees and look at the world around you. I bet its frustrating right? Feeling like the whole world is greater than you... Even a dog, a cat, a mouse - is stronger than you. With one small push you'll fall down.

Now imagine that again...

Lay on your stomach, look around you, I bet you cant see much can you? The world is so much bigger than you, right?

Right.

What you're feeling now.. stupid, small, scared.. Those three S's control my whole life. I constantly feel like the world is closing in on me - how am I meant to stop it?

I cant be the only one whose feeling like that?

like life is too over powering, too dangerous for me to belong in...

I feel like no matter what I do, I'm making a huge mistake. I try to make people

laugh because I know what its like to cry..

I try to make people feel safe because I know what its like to feel alone.

I try so f*****g hard to keep everyone alive and safe and well.. but I'm that guy who just smiles when he thinks of all the upsides to never waking up.

right now, I feel like there isn't anything in this world for me to do?

I have no gcses and because my mental health is bad, I'm not even in school.

I hate this little voice in my head that tells me I'm not going to get anywhere in life...

because lately I've started to agree..

maybe hes right? maybe this is just a suicidal teens life..