True Happiness in Love

Life brings you happiness at your foot step...its your choice to pick it or step on it...

Everything was always a plan for me a good job good salary good life. I was so sure of my life that I am going in the right direction, but today amidst this crowd I realized that nothing worked out how I have planned in my life and this thought is taking me way back to my school days.

 I remember I was just 6 yrs old when our old neighbor Mr Awasti got transferred to Mumbai and after few week new tenants came in, they were in their 50’s I guess, one very nice uncle and aunty or as I used to call them Dadu and Chiku. I remember how much aunty laughed when I called her that she had two very soft cheeks which I loved pulling all the time…they were like family to us.

Then one day when I returned from school I heard lot of commotion in their house I was not sure what the matter was but it sounded very serious I asked my mother but she said I am too young to understand so I went in and from my room I peeked into their living room. I could see Dadu and Chiku sitting silently on the sofa with their head bowed down and a woman shouting at them and to the far corner of the window a glimpse of a small scared little girl. Even though its none of my business but I was feeling sympathetic for the little girl standing there, and then that women stormed out of the house and the little girl tried to hold her hand but she deliberately pushed her away, I got on my foot with anger for the lady. Chiku also went inside but Dadu picked up the little girl and gently took her inside. At this point my curiosity was at its peak who is she who was that women why all the commotion. I went down and saw my mother going to their house probably to ask the same question I had in my mind. This was my chance and I went after her but opted to stand near the window to listen. They said that few year before their son died in a car accident after that their daughter in law asked them to leave that house and so we invested everything to buy this house and came here to live and now she came with this child and is saying that our son’s character was not good and this is his child who came from an orphanage claiming to be his daughter and she has checked with the orphanage and they said since our son didn’t visit her for so long they sent her along with a staff to see her father and that’s when she came to know about her. Now she left her here for she has nothing to do with her. After listening to all these, even though I didn’t understand much but I felt bad for the girl as I knew it would be difficult for her to understand this too. After her conversation with them my mom asked me not to go to their house for few days. But I wanted to meet this new girl, and one day I got a chance when she was playing outside alone. I went to her introduced myself and asked her if I could play with her, this is where our friendship began.

Dadu loved and even showed his affection for her, but Chiku used to be very hard on her but deep inside she too loved her. We went to same school she was very bright and I was  bright too but always came second by few marks. So when it was time for entrance she came in merit list and Dadu was dancing with joy that day not only because she was in merit list but also cause she got admission with full scholarship which was concerning him as he knew with his pension money he could never afford to send her to college. Even I was happy for her and I joined the same college. In college we took different branch but still we hanged out together. So many of my friends had a crush on her and used to ask me her phone number but I used to take it as a joke and laugh it away. I have seen her since childhood and have always seen her as a good friend of mine. Then came our college ethnic day, we were all excited as it was our first ethnic day in college I dressed up in a light brown sherwani and a blue jeans and got many compliments for my casual plus slight ethnic dress up, that’s when I saw a bright blue saree shining like a morning sky soothing to eye, loose hair like a gentle breeze along the beach, bright blue earrings as if like two blue diamond swinging to the rhythm of her steps, big eyes like I could never take my eyes off her, and it struck me hard DIYA.  How could I have been so blind to never notice such a beautiful girl who lived next door and is my best friend. A sudden rush of blood, fast heart beat, all my sense so elevated that even in this commotion I could hear the small sound made by her anklet, and suddenly life felt so beautiful. First time in my life a feeling of love touched me ever so softly. After that day I started avoiding Diya, she was confused by my action and tried to contact me but I started being aloof as her presence made me nervous and weak in my knees. When I see her all I could think of is how much I wanted to tell her my feelings. After that when my friends asked her number I gave them the angry look and go away. But staying away from her just made matter worse cause the feelings I started to have for her was very real but how could I forget that she is my best friend first with whom I shared everything. And in the mean time the fight between my parents also started getting worse day by day, sometimes in anger they would mention divorce and that very word shake me from inside I was so depressed and wanted to share this with my best friend. But how could I. I have not only been avoiding her but if she attempt to approach me I was very rude to her. One day when I was sitting in the park staring at a happy family enjoying in the park she came and sat right next to me. I looked at her and felt ashamed of my behavior towards her she looked at me and said “I don’t know why you are trying to avoid me, I don’t know if it’s because of something I said or did, but today I was getting this strong feeling that you need me. So how much ever you want to scold me you may but I am not leaving your side” in a sudden rush of emotion I hugged her and cried like a baby and instead of “I am sorry” which I ment to say to her I said “I love you Diya…” she didn’t say a word just hugged me back…after that she gently looked into my eye and asked me “Sudhir do you realize what you just said to me?” I now gathered my courage and said “Yes I know what I said and yes I mean it and that is the reason I was avoiding you cause I felt this would affect our friendship” she just smiled and said “I have been waiting to hear these words from you, and I don’t know since when” I was so happy and surprised to hear that from her that I hugged her again but this time with a warm happy feeling in my heart. Since that day we were inseparable. Everything was going great and we didn’t even know when these four years just went.

And then in final year it was time for campus. It was the time when no matter which branch we are in we sat for the same campus of IT companies I worked really hard for the campus even joined coaching for the campus but was not getting through any and Diya got selected in almost 3 companies and that too without any coaching her name was the most talked about topic in our college and suddenly everyone started seeing me as Diya’s boyfriend. All these years she was referred as Sudhir’s girlfriend by these same people. I was frustrated and the sense of jealousy was building in my heart. Even at home everyone started praising Diya “Such a brilliant girl, she went through so much yet see where she is now” both Dadu and Chiku where proud of her. But when all where happy for her one person was burning with jealousy and that person was me. This started reflecting in my behavior towards her, she said nothing just kept quiet and one day because of my jealousy I broke up with her again she said nothing. And I decided to go for further studies to UK. She came to see me off but I refused to see her. And the day when I was leaving I saw outside my car window and saw those two beautiful eye, now swollen and sad as if they were talking to me asking me WHY? I looked away and went.

As I reached UK, a new place with new people I forgot about everything I left behind and concentrated on my target of a successful life. I was so busy I hardly had time to think of Diya. She used to mail me but with no response from my end she lost hope I guess. After my college I secured a job in UK and started working as an assistant engineer in a reputed company. I worked hard and my seniors where happy with my work and promoted me to senior engineer. I had everything, but still something was missing. I was not completely happy, and then I got this wedding invitation from one of my college friend and in the mail there were lots of my college folks in the TO list I frantically started searching for that one name and there she was Diya Mathur.

I packed my bag to go home. When I reached there I found new tenants in Diya’s place and my mother told me as soon as Diya got a job she and her grandparents moved from here. They went, when we were in Shimla visiting your aunty. After that they never called us. I was surprised as this was so unlike Chiku who used to be very close to my mom and also disappointed cause I didn’t know how to get in touch with Diye. I even tried to contact Diya’s friend but they said after I went she cut off from all of us. First we thought she is showing attitude, but once we came to collect some documents from college we saw her sitting in our empty classroom crying, we asked her what’s the matter but she said nothing. After that day we never saw her, and she never contacted us either. All disappointed and sad as I knew it’s my fault that she had to go through all these sufferings.

It was still dawn when I stepped out of the cab and walked towards the entry gate of the Delhi airport. The early morning February air was pleasantly cold.

I was travelling to Bengaluru to attend a college friend's wedding. It had been four years since we graduated from the same college. This wedding was also going to be a reunion of our batchmates. But what I didn't know was that the reunion would begin much ahead of time; right in the queue in front of the airline counter.

I was almost sure it was she. Same height! Same long hair! Same complexion! Curiosity had my eyes glued to her. And then about 60-odd seconds later, when she turned, she proved me right. My ex-girlfriend stood two places ahead of me in that queue. We had never met after the college farewell.

She too instantly recognized me and smiled. After I checked in I tried to find her in the airport but she just vanished and by that time it was time for my plane I prayed that I find her there as I entered the plane there I saw her sitting at the window seat but my seat was very much behind her. I asked for a change of seat due to medical reason so they upgraded my seat and sent me to business class, something that doesn't happen every day but to me it’s like everything is happening against me.

I just couldn't sleep I couldn't relax I tried to find reason to go to the economy class to see her. She was sleeping peacefully with no tension no pressure, it felt odd but then she was not the one who did anything wrong it was me so why should she be stressed. At last we landed and again she was much ahead of me. As soon as I reached the baggage counter hoping to see her there I saw that she already took her bag and was going towards the exit. This confused me, I started to believe that somehow she didn't recognize me, but then she smiled at me. As soon as I got my luggage I ran towards the exit...she was there looking at me and waving to come..."Come Sudhir I got a taxi" oh!!! She did recognize me...I went as fast as I could and sat in the taxi...she started the conversation "So when did you come back from UK" I told her about when I came and saw her house empty "Oh! That, ya actually my company got me an accommodation so I took dadu and chiku there but now I own a company" "That’s great. So how is Dadu and Chiku" I asked "Dadu is not keeping well these days, memory loss and motion control issues. Mostly because of the old age. I rarely stay away from them. I am the only support they have, I really wanted to bring them with me but then I thought to bring them little latter as staying away from home is little uncomfortable for Dadu u know. But I guess now you are here so I am good" she smiled. Countless time I have dreamt of my encounter with Diya, and in my imagination she shouted at me sweared never to speak to me and sometimes even seek revenge. But never ever this, which was happening. I didn't know how to start that conversation with her, hoping once she shout at me all would get to normal. But then her being friendly was giving me a warm feeling but with added guilt. After a moment of silence as I gathered the courage to talk to her about that topic we reached the hotel. She said this is where you would be staying go inside and tell your name they would tell you the room no. I asked her where she is staying “Oh I will be staying at Prashant’s place” she said and went. Prashant used to be my best friend in college after Diya, we shared the same bench, we too shared everything with each other, he was also upset about his parents constant quarrel and like me he was also scared for the worst, them getting a divorce. Unlike my parents who somehow sorted there issue and are still together Prashant’s parents went for a divorce. But after I broke up with Diya, it changed me and I too cut off from all of my friends including Prashant. I knew he was upset but never showed. After so many years I received a mail from him and that too his wedding invitation. He belongs to a wealthy family, he stays in a big mansion which could easily accommodate 15 to 20 people.

Evening was his sangeeth function, I went to Prashant's place. Again hoping to meet Diya and speak to her. Prashant came and saw me but with a confused and doubtful look he asked “Sudhir is it?” I nodded. His face brightened and he hugged me tight, tears rolling from his eye. That's when I realized how much he actually cared for me and what did I do left him when he needed me the most.

I asked Prashant how he was and how is everything and also about the lucky girl he was going to marry. He said lets enjoy the sangeeth cermony after that all talking. We partied all night but all I could think of is Diya, my eye searching for her. After the party Prashant asked me to come with him for a drive I thought it’s better to be away from crowd with my best friend. I had lot to share with him. It was a very pleasant weather in Bangalore in his moon roof car we drove and came kind of far from where he stays. It looks like a farm house and my guess was right this was Prashants farm house decorated with lights. Located at a very beautiful location he asked me to join him for a drink "Prashant you never use to drink? when did you start...haha" I teased him "No yr it’s just occasional with special people and anyways it’s just wine so no biggy" Prashant said with a smile"Cool so bhabhi approves of it" "Oh she like white wine...she is cool with it" "Listen Sudhir the reason I got your here is that there is something you should know" "What is it bro tell me" "Diya is the girl I am going to marry" I felt like rigid and shaken at the same time as if my whole world was shaking rigorously and there is nothing I could do, I wanted this to be a dream, and wanted someone to pinch me so that it gets over soon.  I gripped my glass so hard that it crushed in my hand. I got hurt but that was nothing before the pain I was feeling inside. My vision was blurred and I just couldn't utter anything but WHY?? WHY WITH ME?? Prashant tried to hold me but I screamed at him to take me back to the hotel.  When I was about to leave I heard a sound from behind. "This is how I felt…Sudhir" I turned and there she was her hand covered in mehendi. "Sudhir don't you remember how you broke my heart so mercilessly and went away. I mailed you for years with no response do you know how that feels. My life, my career  was crashing around me and all I could think of was you. But then I saw Dadu and Chiku I vowed to live my life for them. I told them what I was going through more than Dadu Chiku supported me to come out of the situation. My sole motive of life was to make them happy and I found my happiness in there’s. That is when I met Prashant. He too was going through lot off issues in his family due to his parent’s separation. We started talking and sharing our issues. I felt the connection I never felt before. We supported each other, that is what a relationship is all about. He helped me open my own company. Today I am more successful than him, but unlike you Prashant take pride in that, for him what other says or feel is not important for him it’s US not you or me it’s always US. Sudhir we didn't even know you would come for the wedding but Prasant insisted to send the card, and I am sure you might not have opened the attached card in the mail to read the name of the bride. Sudhir when I met you I thought you knew about us but only when I called Meenakshi to invite her for my wedding she said you called her to inquire about me and if you would have seen the card you would have noticed my address on it, that is the reason I asked Prashant to have a talk with you. Now it’s your wish to stay or leave. Tomorrow is our wedding and Dadu and Chiku are coming tomorrow. If you stay you could see them as for them, you were like the son they lost." after that she went in and I came back to the hotel. We didn't speak a word on the way. I was feeling betrayed by my own two best friend. But deep inside my conscious was supporting them.

As soon as I came to the hotel I started packing as there was nothing left for me here. I asked the hotel receptionist to book a ticket for me. Next day early morning at 6AM was my flight. I couldn't sleep that night I hurried to the airport. As I got in I heard the familiar voice “Sudhir…” I turned and there they where Dadu and Chiku. I stood motionless for a while and a bit ashamed. But to my surprise Chiku hugged me and gently kissed me on my forehead. I could see the tears of joy in her eye as I saw in Prashant's eyes when we met. She knew what I did to Diya but she never mentioned it but her tears said it all that she has forgiven me, and then at that moment I felt a heavy burden relived from my heart. I never felt so relaxed and calm in my life, and I cried hugging her like I was holding these tears for years. She saw my luggage and asked me “are you going somewhere?” I said no I came to receive you guys. As we came out from the arrival terminal there was Prashant standing to receive Diya's grandparents he was surprised to see me before he could say anything I hugged him and said Diya could never get a more perfect match than you, I am so happy for you guys and I have decided to stay. I could see the joy on his face. After their wedding I wished them good luck and apologized to both of them and left promising to visit them whenever I come to India. On my way back home, though nothing happened as I planned but what happened was for good. I was sad for losing the only girl I ever loved but also more than that happy to know that she has finally found her happiness. The guilt of ruining her life was gone, as I knew she is happy now. For the first time I realized the meaning of true happiness, sometimes it’s painful but sweet.