What If ?

This is a free verse poem about how men in the 1800s never gave women equal rights . They thought most women were just pretty faces with no wisdom .

I didn't have the bottle to confront her

what kept me away was what they said about her

" She's just a witless beauty

nothing unparalleled "

But what if she wasn't who they said she was 

What if she was a lot more than that

What if she was an enormous berg of which only a bantam part we see floating

the profoundness hidden deep underneath

What if she was a velvet drape? 

a little effort to open it and sunshine will fall upon your face

What if she was an oyster 

all uneven from outside but within you'll discover a recherche pearl 

What if she was a classic melancholy love song?

arcane to some but not to those whose hearts have once ached

What if she was a door ajar

a little peek and we'll see the mind full of wisdom to which it opened

Or what if she was already an open book with no secrets

you just need to read to know the full story

What if she wasn't a swimmer but the water

What if she wasn't a ray of sunlight but the whole sun

What if she was not a beautiful cover but a clandestine novel 

What if she wasn't a painting but the painter who created it all

What if she wasn't what they said she was 

What if she was a lot more than that

maybe she knew what she had was rare?

If that was so ,why would she care ?

Reviews

[Adam Weems]

I love the concept, considering that i also believe women weren't perceived as people, but objects. my only advice is to try not to sound super repetitive, do what you did with the first few stanzas and give it that depth and power you had at the beginning, otherwise i enjoyed it! keep it up

[Priyanshi]

I think it's your first poem, but a good one, specially the last few lines, i loved them.

[miahstr]

Interesting Idea I like how you started. I didn't have the bottle to confront her. That line was nice. As I was reading however the analogies seemed like they were dragging on. Still great work. Keep it up.

[Ty]

"...What if she wasn't a painting hanging on the wall, What if she was the painter making them all..." What if I said this culminated in a great write.

[Zoya]

Very well put. You used some new (for me) and amazing words. They complemented the theme really well.
Well done. Keep writing!

[Raven Moonchild]

Wow, this poem is just absolutely amazing!!! :D Sadly, even now, women are treated as if they are just a pretty object to do with as one pleases. I love how powerful and insightful this poem is. :) BRAVO!!!! :D

[neeyati shah]

:) thank you so much

[An owl on the moon]

Such a powerful vision into the past, and yet so relevant for today. I love the questioning, these hints into the deeper being alive in her sacred soul. This voices a music for us today we must learn to listen to.

[neeyati shah]

YOUR POEMS ARE BEAUTIFUL

[An owl on the moon]

I hope you will keep singing your poetry for us all here.

[neeyati shah]

Yes i will .Thank you so much ...it means a lot :)

[lostinthewaves]

I enjoyed it, but I feel that with a little less of the what if's the emotion would have come across stronger. Overall, pretty good. I 'm excited to follow your work.

[neeyati shah]

:):):):):)

[Coyote Poetry]

Honest and strong words and thoughts. You made the reader think. Old world. Hard for the women. Today. Some places still look at the women with the wrong eyes and views. Women are our Grandmother, mothers, wives and daughters. Should be loved and honored. A amazing poem.
Coyote

[neeyati shah]

thank you for the kind words

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Melissa Kester]

This piece is so beautiful. I never would have thought to use those kinds of comparisons to a woman. It was so imaginative and gracious. You've built up such a strong woman with this piece. I absolutely love it!

[neeyati shah]

thank you so much melissa