Gluttony

I wanted this to be as sweaty, primal, and disgusting as possible.

Heat and sweat and tiger stripes,
A beast born with sick human eyes of a sadistic savagery,
Green as the wet, peeled grapes of this feral feast,
Doomed always to submit to their insatiable hunger.

They soak in their sin, they crave it like the musty air they breathe,

Their cries for more, more, more, mere slugs through the humid air.
To reach their means they must stalk this jungle of vanilla twilight,
Feasting on pale creamed sugar as their gluttony consumes.

Gross amounts of fat and fur ripple shadows on these grinning beasts.

Their sticky tongues loll from paw to claw,

Dispersing smiles, just for civility's sake,

forever seeking the scent of their fermented, moldy dreams.

In this nonsense jungle of mayonnaise dreams,
I'm still tripping over their obese, groaning corpses.
For these striped hunters capture my hopes for their hunger,
And bottle them to best feast off my fear.

Author's Note

This was inspired by this picture book in my spanish teacher's classroom, which had all these creepy cartoon tigers on the front with large, slanted, pale green human eyes that were too large for their heads and large rolling tongues that spilled from the side of their mouth to the floor below.
Additionally, they were all wearing smocks. Enough to give a regular person nightmares.
Enough to give me this insanity.
As stated above, it was my goal to make this as gross as possible. I wanted to demonstrate my horror at the images. Believe me, they were CREEPY.
(c) Neko Green 2010

Reviews

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the idea is great, and the third stanza has some grotesque (sp?) imagry, but if your main idea was to make this really creepy and horrific, you might want to push it a bit futher, you have some really good words in there but i just dont get the creepy feel or the horror that you obviously was taken by when you saw the images. prehaps some more discriptions of the horrific actions these uggly creates might perform that would cause nightmares, and prehaps a bit more emotion would drive the idea of your disgust. being just "afraid" and "terrified" dont seem to be strong enough. i think its a really good start, but i get the feeling you could do better with it. hope this helps, and im just one person with one opion, if your happy with it as is, thats what is important! good on you for putting this piece out there :)