Sorry

Apologizes - Hmmm this seems to be becoming a trend, I must f**k things up even more than I think I do.

I feel like i'm always doing this, apologizing

That I have a tenancy to f**k things up

Except for around certain people, that's why I stick with this people

I'm sorry that i'm making excuses

I don't want to be

And I know that's hard to believe, trust me I do

I know that i'm a mess

And I know that's another excuse

F**k

Im sorry

Look, i'm just going to spill it out

This Isn't going to make sense

And I'm going to sound like i'm making excuses

And i'm sorry for that

I'm sorry for the mess your about to hear

Just know that I truly mean everything i'm saying here

I thought you hated me

And if i'm being truly honest I still kinda do

You say were friends, and I want to be

But I hear from other people that you hate me

Your friends hate me

So why wouldn't you

But i'm writing this and I just keep coming back to

You cared enough to call the cops… so you couldn't hate me, could you?

And the truth is I really just don't know

I'm sorry you feel isolated

I avoid talking to you because you intimidate me

SO MUCH

I can't even tell you

You have your f*****g s**t together like umm what.. HOW?!?!

Or if you dont, it really looks like you do

Im sorry

I didn't know you wanted to understand

Last time I tried to explain it you just told me to shut up

I thought you didn't care

Or when I ask you some random question

And you look at me rolling your eyes like WTF hazel

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

I don't know how to fix this

I don't have a simple solution

I wish I did

But, sadly I don't

Would you rather sit in the middle?

Because please, do

I'm not rude I won't talk over you, i'll just talk to you

I'm so bad at life AAAAAAAA

This is all my fault

Whenever you and Claudia are talking and I say something

You look so mad

I should have just taken the hint

You don't want me there

So, if you read this and tell me you don't want me to sit with you guys

I won't

F**k

I'm so bendable and so plastic

Everyone's anxiety manifests itself in different ways and this is one of mine

I act so independent and carefree

But that's because you only ever see with people that I feel like myself around

And there are very few of those

Example: Lisa, I LOVE HER

And I feel like myself around her - most of the time

But in that, I am the submissive one

I am so terribly sorry for this pain

FUCKKKKKKKK

Please, can we talk about this?

Can I give you a hug the second I see you tomorrow because I feel so bad

PLease

You asked me today how long the period was

And I told you

I dIdn'T KnoW WhY iF i HAd

I would have tried to fix it then

I'm sorry for everything above

I'm sorry thee all sound like excuses

I'm sorry I made you feel this way

I'm sorry I didn't realize

I'm sorry

really truly

IM SORRY

Author's Note

.................. I wonder what flies think when were chasing them with a flyswatter trying to kill them, its peculiar isnt it?

Reviews

[Andrea Greene]

I am an Actual Terrible F*****g Human Being and I am SO F*****g SORRY but that doesn't compensate for what I put you through because of my own stupid feelings that are so f*****g volatile God, god f*****g d****t

[Charlotte]

No, your NOT. Don't say that, it's my fault I'M SORRY, you have the right to feel that, it valid. Your fine, I feel so bad, don't apologize you did nothing wrong. IM SORRY

[Andrea Greene]

I can hear Lisa- "if you fucked up, you are VALID" but hhhhhh I don't know what

[Charlotte]

Did you read that? wait what?!

[Andrea Greene]

Also whom the f**k says I hate you

They can fight me

[Charlotte]

I don't think I would say that if I were you

The people that say that are your friends

[not_today]

But that was the entirety of gym

[Charlotte]

what do you mean?