Prayers to the universe

O' the thoughts of my head
Have mercy on my lost soul
For my mind is my only source of power
Of which I will rule the world

O' the forces of the universe
Keep my core mended
Why won't you stop moving in wrong directions?
I'm dissociating in the space within

O'Osiris, the god of dead
Shatter me into pieces
Reborn me again
In a way that makes sense

O' my personal creator
Why don't you exist?
so I could be mislead into beliefs
And have some bullshit faith for a source that must persist

O' you beautiful infinite atoms
Reshape the mess of this world
Destroy the stars
And make up for the attributes that forms a substance
For the divine nature of intellect
Can last for an eternity longer than ours.

Reviews

[tanmay7551]

Beautiful!! Very well written...

O the Supreme energy of the world!
Let no one have tears in their eyes,
Smiles spread everywhere,
No evil exists between us.
You be the guiding force of all our actions,
Let all the deeds be your image
and for eternal times to come we rest in your lap.

[Nervana Zahran]

so beautiful

[CyranoDBergeron]

Ill review stanza by stanza

1) thoughts will not have mercy on YOU. Its your Soul and not mind that can create what you desire.

2) I'm sorry

3) Beautiful

4) I do exist...;)

5) What is the Divine nature of intellect? The passing on of info?

[Nervana Zahran]

that last stanza was actually inspired by Spinoza’s ethics.

I was praying for God’s or the universe’s intellect to last longer because according to spinoza
"the human mind is part of the infinite intellect of God"
it’s basically passing on of info but also praying that we’d be able to do that forever

[Confuser]

Wow, deep and powerful; the anger of your emotions revealed, the honesty and pleading for needed changes; I see this writing as a prayer and also the depths of distane for having these thoughts and they are exploding. I see below (review) and I must say, it was my favorite stanza as well. I went back and read it several times. It is very thought provoking, expressed so nicely. Thank you.

[Nervana Zahran]

I'm actually really flattered that you liked it. Thankyou so much for your sweet review

[Confuser]

I love it when writers are honest and make you think, I was pulled in...thinking about my life...I so want to write how I feel about the "feeling" -how does that pain really feel, know what I mean. Anyway....thank you. Forgot to write Poetry 101 tag. Thanks again, I enjoyed it. Keep writing!

[Yasmin]

So this plead is full of pride... It shows the strong person you are and reflects the depth of your emotions and their integrity. I like the form of the poem and the flawless rhyme and this is the part that I like the most:
"O'Osiris, the god of dead 
Shatter me into pieces 
Reborn me again 
In a way that makes sense "
Well done and I seriously can't wait to read more