Lost in the SuperMarket

 Dear Gregory,               

                             I want to use this letter I am writing you to say, “I am sorry for losing you in the grocery store today.”  In my defense I did tell you to keep up several times and you continued to lollygag into space (and it is already a very big store).  But regardless, I am sorry for losing you, but even more so I am sorry that it took me 2 hours to realize I lost you.  I have had a lot of things on my mind lately (none of which involve you) so obviously when you weren’t around I didn’t really notice it (in retrospect I should have thought something was up when I hadn’t heard you say a word), but let’s not cry over spilt milk, after all I may have lost you, but I also had a hand in finding you (which I personally think says more about me than losing you does).  I feel somewhat better knowing that for the 2 hours I didn’t notice you were gone; nobody else realized that a 4 year old was walking around by himself.  I also didn’t appreciate the fact that we found you hanging around another family, I know you’re a kid but if you don’t want to be around us I’m sure I can get some adoption talks stirred up.  The employees were also useless.  After I realized you were gone I quickly contacted them and all they did was get on the intercom and shout about some girl named Amber (After I told them your name was Gregory).  I’m not entirely sure who Amber is or why the fact that she was missing trumped the fact that you were missing (something I think you should think about the next time we are out in the supermarket and you decide to wander off).  Overall I think that while I’m writing this letter to you, you should be writing a thank you letter to me, because while I did lose you, I also found you; and considering that last week I locked you in the car with all the windows rolled up, I feel like I’ve taken a big step up.

 

 

 

 

 

P.S:  Amber Alert is probably the coolest f*****g name ever.  I hope they found her