Exposed

The bathtub overflows
With dirty water and dirty thoughts
Cheap scented candles
And worn out clothes
Litter the floor
While my naked body
Cold and desperate
Exposed and frightened
Sits in the middle of it all
With a razor in one hand
And a bottle of booze in the other
Black bra on the shower
Cigarette stubs in the sink
Memories too painful to relive
Permeate in the air
Crying away my sins
And watching them run
Down the drain with my soul
All washed away
Like the purpose of my life
Cold and wet and naked
I'm exposed and bare
But there’s no other place I'd rather be
Black locks of wet hair cover my face
And a wall of pain round my heart
I leave my asylum
And face another painful day

Reviews

[fireblossom]

The scene is set so well. The metaphor of naked and exposed and blood and soul and dirt in the caldron of the tub. Chilling.

A purposeful poem. Well written.

[zainul]

Eloquently exposed your feeling and shared with others who can relate easily.

[Andie]

Very nice! You'd painted a picture for us. I could almost feel like I was there.

[JC]

powerful picture you've created, really dig this on many levels

[Sami Khalil]

I leave my asylum
And face another painful day

A nice poem especially those lines... I enjoyed it...

[Steven]

An honest exposé. Cigarette butts in the sink especially struck me somehow.

[Jeremia]

Kinda gives me the impression of a girl hidden away, yet when she goes out she puts on a face that gives the impression that she is alright. That's the picture that I get, but I suppose that could be said about many people. We all have "faces". Anyway, I did enjoy reading this. Nice job.

[timothygalexander]

I like it, a little clichéd but real. I dare not add to it but you can refine it, kind of a lame review, sorry but I couldn't just not say something. I like it, very dark and internal.