Four Months

Four Months

A Poem by .nicole.
"

9/24/2011 10/6/2011

"

I could never say those words

I could never admit it

That after four months

Four months of moving on

I could never admit

That I miss you

My heart infinitely aches

For the closeness we once had

I want to be able

To be myself

One hundred percent

With someone

The way I was with you

But after four months

Four months of moving on

I could never admit it

© 2011 .nicole.


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Reviews

Spell out your numbers. Seriously. It's way cleaner. In text, you don't use actual numerals unless your numbers would be unwieldy to write, and nothing you have here is. Also, write out 'percent' instead of using the symbol. You want to avoid that sort of thing if at all possible too.

The story you're telling is a fine one, but you do it oddly. Talking about never being able to admit that you miss a past love is all well and good, but lack of that ability isn't - or at least isn't by default - a reason you can't give yourself to someone else. It's just odd to have you come back to that as the reason when the connection doesn't appear to be there.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Intense emotional confession.
Honest work.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on September 25, 2011
Last Updated on October 6, 2011

Author

.nicole.
.nicole.

About
I used to write all the time, and I think I am going to try and start writting again. Comment on my work, I always want feedback! more..

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