there is not much time

a letter from an old friend. an special kind of friend a trip down the memory lain an old friend is dying so she decides to write a letter to her former best friend and remind her of their days toge

I don't know if you still remember me. I know you are moving on I can feel it in my bones. I can feel it in my lungs. with every step I take with every breath. Of course you are forgetting for I get weaker and weaker every day.im dying. I know I don't have much time. soon I'm going to vanish forever but I haven't yet and that means something. that means you haven't forgotten completely. so you still remember, even if you don't know it yourself.

 I am still there, in you, with you. you remember me, somewhere in the back of your mind, a blurry memory, the sound of a laughter, my laughter but I don't have much time left, soon you will forget all about me, soon you will move on. soon  you will grow up. soon I will die. so I want to use the last of my time to write this to you to remind you of all the things you have forgotten. all the little things that made me,me. I want to ask you all the questions I never asked. I want to tell you all the secrets you never knew I held. the things you wouldn't tell me, the things you wouldn't even admit to yourself but I knew. I knew them all.  I never mentioned them though you wouldn't want me to. I would never upset you. you were my whole world you were the one who created me.

 I believed in you in everything you said in everything you believed in, I believed you in every way in those days that no one took you seriously. they would call you a child but not me. to me you were my god my whole world my creator my friend to me everything you said was right and it was.

 in our little language you would tell me everything. those were the days you always told the truth. not anymore. you have taken to lying, I don't blame you. its normal. lies are normal. not for us (soon there will be no us  anymore)but to the others, to grownups, to the ones who don't believe us. perhaps it's because they are so used to hearing lies that they no longer believe the  truth. it doesn't matter. lies are one of the things that come with growing up, one of the many skills that help us survive, but I still remember those days. the dyes when you would tell me everything and you would never lie. you didn't know how. now this is my turn today I want to tell you everything, the truth about everything. I'm going to use my last days- or maybe hours or minutes I don't really know. it depends on you, on how tight you will hold on, to your memories, to me, to us- to Wright you this letter to remind you of me,of us.

 I can't believe how hard it is to breath. it used to be so easy back then. we would breath together laugh together and cry together we would share everything. I don't remember anything before you. I can't imagine a world without you. you have been there as long as I can remember. you have been there with me, for me .for me a world without you doesn't exist as you are the center of my world. you are everything but I guess you don't believe in that anymore. you don't believe in our world anymore. I don't even know if you can remember it. I'm not going to try and make you believe, I know you won't. it's another thing that comes with growing up, you stop believing. believing in yourself believing in your dreams but there are things I have to say even if you don't believe. 

there is not much time I'm going to start with simple things, they are always powerful simplicity brings power even though people have grown to believe the opposite .

do you remember that tree we used to sit under and play? you were 7, I was 7 too, just how you wanted me to be. it was always like that, I would always be just how you wanted me to be. you were my creator after all. anyway, where was I? ah right the tree, I remember it so vividly. it was big and had a special smell to it. it had a big shadow.  you used to tell me that we are safe as long as we stay in the shadow. the bad creatures can't get to us because the tree would protect us as long as we stayed in its shadow. it was the tree's responsibility to take care of the children who played in its shadow. I felt so safe under that tree. I believed you completely. I believed your every word. in my mind you knew everything.

I don't know if you still remember, have you ever wondered what happened to that tree? do you even care anymore? in case you are wondering they cut it off two years ago. you never noticed though. you don't go there anymore. you were at a friend's birthday party when they were cutting it. she was one of your new friends back then the ones that came into your life and filled my place bit by bit.

do you remember that doll ?the one that was always by your side? the one you would sleep with? the one you would take to the bath with you? the one you would bring on trips? she was your favorite. her name was Natasha. do you remember her? she was a gift from your mom for your fifth birthday and she was your favorite till the day you put all your dolls in boxes and put them in the dumpster. I still remember it like it happened yesterday though it was 3 years ago. I was sad, you told me that dolls were for babies you were a big girl now, big girls don't need dolls. I remember the first day you got Natasha. we picked that name for her together. I was sad at first, I thought she was going to be your new best friend, I thought you wouldn't want me anymore, so I told you. you just laughed, kissed my chick and promised me that no one was ever going to get my place, oh how I believed you. do you even remember that promise these days ?I don't think so.

do you remember the monster in the closet? the one you were so afraid of? I would crawl in the bed with you and tell you that it was not going to hurt you, that I was there with you and I would sing our favorite song for you, I would tell jokes to distract you from the thought of the monster. do you want to know a secret? I never told you but I was afraid too. I was scared shitless. I want you to know that me comforting you was different from a parent comforting their child, they know there isn't anything in the closet, it's so easy for them to be reassuring but I believed in that monster just as much as you did. I KNEW there was something in the closet and I tried to comfort you knowing that we were in fact helpless. do you know how hard it was for me? but I did it for you. I did it every night and it would work each and every time. I would tell you that as long as we have each other he is not going to hurt us. I would tell you that he just hurts the children that are alone and I believed in what I said so we would cling to each other for dear life throughout the night.

do you remember the winters? our winters? we used to stay inside while other children went out playing. reading each other children story books watching the snowflakes fall slowly on the ground the shapes we would draw on the steamy window. do you remember them? do you remember the last thing you draw on the window? the last winter? our last winter? do you remember what you said to me? that drawing, do you know what it meant to me? it meant the world to me. it meant more than my life. it still does. that is why I'm thinking about it in my last hours. it is the most important thing. it is what I want to remember, that drawing on the steamy window, the shape of two nine year old girls hand in hand with smiles on their faces surrounded by a big heart. you told me that it meant we will be friends forever, that I will always be in your heart and you will be in mine, and you are and you will be, forever. the question is am I still in yours? I'm leaving your mind bit by bit but does that mean I'm leaving your heart too? I hope not. I want to imagine that years later when you have forgotten all about me as you are walking down the street passing the place where our tree was and hearing the sound of laughter of two seven year olds you get this odd longing feeling in the pit of your stomach. you won't remember me but you will feel it and I will be there watching you, smiling

I promise.

but for now I'm just going to lie here and wait. wait for the end, for you to forget me.

its close, there is not much time. its getting colder and colder each moment , I can feel it, its only a matter of seconds .

I just want you to know that even though I was known as your imaginary friend I was your one and only real friend

and that I love you

bye

Author's Note

i promise it will get to you.it really affected me. i was crying when i wrote this and i dont cry oftenly so read it and tell me what you think ok?

Reviews

[xx_strawberry_xx]

Okay. I didn't finish reading the whole thing because I couldn't. I couldn't get into your story mostly because of the grammar and spelling mistakes. You need to read your story out loud, and edit and edit and edit. Because there is a ridiculous amount of grammar mistakes in it.

Also, you need to separate your story into paragraphs. I really couldn't get into the story and what the character was saying because it was difficult to look at. Separate the parts that are different from each other into paragraphs, use that ENTER button! :)

Other than that, what I read so far was good, so keep it up :)