I DON'T LOVE HIM I JUST MISS HIM

Love has its own mysterious ways

My 6 year old daughter came home annoyed. A boy in her class had said that he loves her and now her friends were teasing her. The boy had even asked her to marry him. I thought it was cute. To see her reaction I asked,’ well dear do you love him’. My daughter rolled her eyes and said, ‘mamma I don’t want to be involved in such stuff I want to study well and be successful such things are a distraction which will slow me down’. I never expected this from my little one. I couldn’t help laughing. I was seeing me in her.
I was a straight A student in my high school days. Still I was not termed as a geek. I enjoyed my days with my friends. I never had a crush on anyone. I was never into all that stuff, for me it was unnecessary and I took my studies very seriously. I couldn’t even imagine me falling in love but life has some mysterious ways.
There was a boy in our class Suyash, very handsome, good in academics and sports heartthrob of all girls. My best friend Ria had a huge crush on him. I never took any interest in him just another guy. Mayank, Rajeev and Amith were his best buddies. One day I was going to library alone as my friends never had the habit of visiting the library. Rajeev and Amith were waiting for me. It was something unusual. They smiled at me. I smiled and walked towards them. While Rajeev was about to say something Mayank rushed from somewhere and covered his mouth. Just then Amith shouted that Mayank has something to say to you and ran away. I looked at Mayank, he gave me a smile and ran behind Amith. I was confused they were acting like kids.
Same drama continued for days. Boys trying to tell me something and Mayank stopping them. My friends started to tease me saying that may be Mayank likes you. The strange thing was that Mayank never said a word to me or others regarding this ongoing drama. I had caught him staring at me many times. When I look he just smiles I feel uneasy and turns away. I didn’t know a thing about him and started to feel uncomfortable when he was around.
Everything changed suddenly. Our teacher divided us into group of three for a science project. Mayank and Suyash were in my group. All girls were jealous as they wanted Suyash. I was not quite happy anyway I thought Suyash must be better than Mayank.
Days passed me and Suyash became good friends. We used to talk a lot while Mayank did the smiling. Oh god that boy could never speak. But Mayank was a brilliant student he topped the class making me second. Over years it was for the first time I lost my first place. One day Suyash told me that Mayank had said something bad about me and that was what his friends were trying to say. They decided to play along when others mistook it as a love matter. I don’t know why but I was disappointed hearing it. I was sad and started to hate Mayank. From that day I ignored him whenever he approached me.
Our school days ended. My friends noticed a change in me. I was terribly missing someone. They started to tease me saying that you are missing Suyash. They were right I was missing someone but it was not Suyash but Mayank! I badly wanted to see his smile. I tried to hide this from my friends. But Ria caught me I told her how I missed Mayank even though we never had a real conversation something was pulling me towards him. I myself was surprised about the way I felt even after knowing that Mayank was playing with me. ‘Are you in love with Mayank? Ria asked with a naughty smile. I said NO, I don’t love him I just miss him, the way he smiles…she started laughing.
As the days passed I started to miss him more. I wondered where he was. I wanted to see him. Little did I know I was in love? One fine morning Suyash called me up and confessed that all he said about Mayank was lie. He was jealous of Mayank and somehow wanted to make him fall in front of my eyes. He apologized. I was in no mood to argue with Suyash I was super happy to know the truth and assured suayash that I will not break our friendship.
Years passed. My friend took me to a café to celebrate my birthday. I saw someone approaching us. My heart started beating fast. It was Mayank. I was staring at him. His eyes entranced me and his smile made my heart fly. I wanted to run towards him and give a big hug but I stood still. Ria teased him.’Mayank do you still have something to say to her? He smiled looked straight into my eyes and said' I love you.’

I was lost in thoughts. My daughter asked why I was smiling. Just then my husband came home. Our little one rushed to him. Mayank sat there listening to our daughter who was narrating her story with a serious cute expression. He looked at me and smiled, the same smile without which now I cannot live a day. My whole world, Mayank and our little one. I used to wonder how he stole my heart without even uttering a single word. Now I knew some hearts understand each other even in silence.
30/05/2013