Albatross poem

Albatross poem

A Poem by nrbthe1st

Gone were the times so simple

Where you and I could run about and play

Because we lost the sunshine all to the rainy days

Too late was my heart to reach out to thine

For love found me at a time so wrong I began to unwind

Be kind dear friend for my heart is yours

As it will be forevermore

Because you set me free

Free as an albatross

Rarely setting my feet to the earth

Never to go back, never to perch

Flying forever, searching, riding the winds wherever they take me

Alone for now but not forever for birds of a feather flock together.

 

 

 

 

 

© 2015 nrbthe1st


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Author's Note

nrbthe1st
ignore grammar problems

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Reviews

for the most part, i really like this. you have an easy style to read. but i have 2 problems with this particular poem. one, the word 'thine' seems to be out of place. it's a rather archaic form of a word and doesn't really fit with the modern language of the rest of the piece. a lot of beginning poets like to add thees and thines because it sounds more poetic to them. i only find it annoying. second, while i understand the reference to the albatross as being a bird who spends much of its life sailing on breezes, the albatross in modern usage is more thought of in terms of being a weight one must carry, as in "albatross round one's neck", so you may be fighting that contradictory meaning of the image. so perhaps a more generic word like 'bird' or 'sea bird' or finding a different breed that has the same attachment to the sky might be better?

Posted 9 Years Ago



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231 Views
1 Review
Added on May 16, 2015
Last Updated on May 16, 2015
Tags: love poem, short poem, love, longing, reminiscing

Author

nrbthe1st
nrbthe1st

Orlando, FL



About
I am a college student at UCF beginning to dabble in writing. I also love photography. more..

Writing
Longing Longing

A Poem by nrbthe1st