My Life

It's strange how much a man can change in an hour,

You'd think he'd remain the same like a tower.

Yet he constantly changes like the drops of a shower,

And bends and sways like the stem of a flower.

It's strange how much a life can change in a day,

You'd think it would remain the same like a sun ray,

Yet it constantly changes like the actors in a play,

And always is different like the snow beneath a sleigh.

It's strange how much love can change in a year,

You'd think it would remain the same like the ocean's pier,

Yet it constantly changes like your current fear,

And turns and grinds like the grooves of a gear.

It's strange how much you change in a life,

One day my friend, and the next day my wife.

I think it is time we are done with our strife.

Oh it is glorious how things change in my life.

Reviews

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Stanza one!!! is so grand. It scans well, has beautiful, strange, unique imagery and just sounds really lovely when spoken. I'm saddened, then, that the glory of that stanza seems to peter out some as the poem progresses. Some of your meter is off, particularly in stanza two. Stanza three tends to pick up the quirkiness of stanza one, but then I'm lost in the gooey sentimentality of stanza four.

I think you can either go the way of stanza one and maybe three (which would be my recommendation) or you could go the way of stanza four. Another thing to be aware of, too, is that ABAB rhyme schemes tend to lend themselves really well to sing-songy sentimentality. That said, the way you manipulate it so deftly in your first stanza is quite impressive.

You have some good words in you, sir. I'd like to read some more of them. :)

[Wolf Cub]

wow, thats wow, please keep it up i love it, well done, i love how it rhymes and how the paragrafts are all 4 lines :D

wolf xx