Alfred Kahn- Preview

The Prologue of a movie about Alfred Kahn, the former CEO of 4Kids Entertainment, a company that specialized in poor, heavily censored anime dubs until his retirement and the company's bankruptcy.

FADE IN:

EXT. OUTSIDE A HOUSE - EVENING

This film is animated in the style of an anime dubbed by the company formerly known as 4Kids entertainment. This was not written with the intention of ridicule or slander. Exterior "crane shot" zooming in.

INT. A HOUSE - EVENING

A little boy named Timmy runs into the living room, clearly on a sugar high. He is holding a VHS tape from Blockbuster in his left hand and a big bag of chips in his right.

He stops 2 meters from the foyer and turns to his mother.

TIMMY Thanks for taking me to Blockbuster, mom.

MOM You're welcome.

TIMMY Come on, Jamal! What's taking you so long? We've got cartoons to watch.

JAMAL (o.s) Coming!

A young boy with almost no hair and poorly-rendered cerulean blue skin runs into the living room. He is supposed to be African American, but he sounds white. This choice is meant to poke fun at a similar choice made in the 4Kids dub of "Dragonball Z Kai."

EXT. OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR - CONTINUOUS

Meanwhile, Timmy's Mom and Jamal's dad are talking outside the front door. Jamal's dad's skin is the same shade of poorly-rendered blue.

MOM So what time are you picking him up tomorrow?

JAMAL'S DAD 1:00.

MOM Don't you think that's a bit late?

JAMAL'S DAD I have a hunting trip tomorrow morning.       (Takes out an        oddly-drawn        hammer from the        4Kids dub of One        Piece) Those geese don't injure themselves.

MOM Hmm, can't his mother pick him up?

JAMAL'S DAD       (pause.        Crestfallen        expression.) She's on an extended trip to Timbuktu, if you know what I mean.

MOM Oh. Well, I'll see you tomorrow.

JAMAL'S DAD Take care.

INT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

It is almost the boys' bedtimes, and they are still watching the video from the video store. That tape happens to be a collection of episodes of a Japanese cartoon for adults, mistakenly put in the kids section. They sit on the floor leaning toward the screen in great interest, while a man and a woman in the show are having sex and about to cum.

Enter Mom, carrying a bowl of popcorn.

MOM Hello, boys. I thought you'd like some more-- what the...?

TIMMY Ah, don't worry, Mom. They're just wrestling!

The screen of the TV is shown as the couple have their orgasms.

JAMAL I guess they both lost. How pathetic.

Then, a gory action scene littered with guns, blood, and loud noise comes on.

TIMMY Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!

JAMAL Kick some alien butt, Sergeant Miyazaki!!!

The "camera" gets a close up on Mom, who initially looks shocked. This shock turns into pure rage as her face turns red and fire burns in her eyes.

EXT. OUTSIDE A HOUSE - DAY

Back to exterior "crane shot."

The word the Mom is saying literally shoots out of the chimney.

MOM Fffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!

When Mom says the "ck" sound, the text that came from the chimney turns into the word "Darn."

FADE OUT.

Author's Note

Criticism is welcome. Also, if anyone knows a way to contact Alfred R. Kahn himself, please let me know, for the sake of this screenplay's historical accuracy.