50 Facts You Get From ConservapediaA Story by J. R.A little bit of fun. For those of you that don't know, Conservapedia is like Wikipedia except instead of actual facts it has a ton of insane creationist, xenophobic, and just-plain-wrong bullshit.
1. Only good people are conservatives
2. Only bad people are anything other than conservatives 3. It's impossible for conservatives to lie because socialists invented lying when FDR undemocratically stole America 4. If a conservative does lie, it's for a good cause and therefore doesn't count as lying. 5. There are 7 billion people on earth, 15 billion of them are Muslims and the other 15 billion are communists. Therefore, four-thirds of the entire global population are terrorists who hate Jesus and America. 6.The world is exactly six thousand years old because the Bible said so. 7. Evolution is a lie invented by the Nazis to socialize America 8. Fossils are a lie invented by Satan. This is true because my pastor said so after ten beers. 9.Nazism, Liberalism, Socialism, Communism, and Fascism are all exactly the same. If you disagree, you are all of them and also a devil-worshiping atheist. 10. Only Americans are human, everyone else is either a socialist or a terrorist. 11. Muslims invented terrorism 12. Not all Muslims are terrorists but all terrorists are Muslims. 13. Gays are evil 14. Homosexuality was invented by the Soviets to bring down American birthrates so they could socialize our country. 15. The constitution was written by Jesus, you can't prove it wasn't. 16. Prayer in school should not just be allowed it should be compulsary. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a Jesus hating Nazi. 17. Christianity is the one true religion. All others were invented by Satan and/or socialists. 18. The mainstream media is run by socialists who secretly control everything 19. Atheists killed Jesus 20. Gay marriage was used to kill Jesus by the Atheists. Also, the Atheists were socialists. 21. Women are inferior to men in every way, it's true because the Bible said so 22. Porn should be banned because it's evil and it's evil because Bible 23. All facts are wrong. You don't need facts because all truth comes from the Bible and Conservapedia 24. Censorship is bad 25. Censorship is okay as long as we're the ones doing it 26. All murderers were either Atheist or Muslim 27. Christians never kill people... ever 28. It's okay to kill in the name of Jesus because how else will the heathens know how loving and peaceful your religion is? 29. Muslims have invaded America and any day now they'll strike....any day now.... 30.Women wouldn't be raped if they didn't act like w****s.... why won't they date me? 31. Women shouldn't wear pants because women's legs are scary and evil. 32. Only Americans go to heaven 33. War is good when America does it 34. Everything the Government does is evil 35. Unless it's banning gay marriage 36.Poor people are criminals because if they weren't evil, they'd be billionaires by now. 37.Immigration is evil because it lets people who aren't American into America 38.Videogames are evil because they're scary and they make kids violent this one guy totally proved it. 39. Barrack Obama was born in Kenya, which is somewhere in Mexico.... I think 40.Religious freedom is good as long as the religion is Christianity 41. Every time a Mosque is built in America, an angel cries 42. Public Schools turn your kids into gay socialists who believe in evolution 43. The Chinese are out to destroy us by... doing....stuff..... 44. Over half of our government is made up of secret communists, another half is made up of socialists, and another half are homosexuals. 45. It's okay to rewrite the Bible if you really love Jesus 46.All those people who died in the Salem witch trials actually were witches, they just used their magic to make the media think they were innocent. 47. Masturbation gives you cancer. Here's a very dubious source to prove it. 48. Every Democrat in Congress eats nothing but Christian babies every day 49.Crime would stop existing if we only banned more things 5. The Communist Muslim Illegal Immigrants are trying to socialize your gay abortions and have evolution taught in schools © 2012 J. R.Author's Note
Reviews
|
Stats
676 Views
2 Reviews Added on July 29, 2012 Last Updated on July 29, 2012 Tags: 50, facts, conservapedia AuthorJ. R.AboutI am an aspiring writer who is interested in improving as a writer and getting my work out to the world. . more..Writing
|