Advice to the Girl Across the Circle

She's doing exactly what I once did. I hate her, but I hate him more.

I know the heart-skip you feel

When you walk into class

And find the desks have aligned themselves

In such a way

That you will be next to him.

 

And I know what your stomach does

When you’re taking notes

And his elbow bumps yours

Just a little

Because he’s a leftie

And the desks don’t suit him.

 

I know.

 

I’m sorry that the girl he loves

Is a plain

Doe-eyed girl

With brown curls

That fall wild

Over a red sundress.

 

I’m sorry.

 

Know that one day

He’ll address you,

Tapping your finger

Asking you for a pencil-

You must give him a pen

And be sure to remember

The way his voice made your name sound

When he needed you

For a moment

Reviews

[Angi]

I can feel the resentment as you watch this unfold across the room. The heart~skip and stomach~dip feelings, the hate of them both. Excellent! Angi~

[Emma Keynes]

Sweet, and very true. You captured it very well. Made me smile :)

Emma

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful place you took me in your words. Funny how people and situation can move us to happiness and contentment. I like the story and the advice given in the end. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Oceana]

Thank you so much for the review, Coyote :)

[Bethany]

*sigh* I too know how this feels....
With crushes like these, it's so much easier to just accept that it's not going to happen, so you won't be disappointed. Then if it actually does, it's a nice surprise that you weren't expecting!
My favourite part is
"be sure to remember
The way his voice made your name sound
When he needed you
For a moment"
I like the flow, structure and meaning of the poem, great job :)

[Oceana]

The struggle is real, right? Haha, thank you so much for your review :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this to me is basically saying...you might get his attention...but only for a moment...he loves me...i might seem a plain girl..but i have substance...and what you have won't last...and you will be a mere flicker in his eye...the next class when he brings his own pencil and doesn't need you.

really cool write, Oceana!

jacob

[Oceana]

Goodness, if you only knew how many times I had to write this before I finally got that down. Thank you so much, I'm glad you appreciated it

[Mir]

You have such originality! I've never read a poem quite like this! I'm finding myself really loving your writing!! Great, fantastic job! :)

[Oceana]

Aw, thank you so much!

[Emily Rose]

I like this a lot. It conveys the emotion very well, and it tells a very relatable story.