Ode to Glasses

Just a class project I thought I would share.

Thou art my guide.

Mine knee was once hit upon a table, but not anymore with thy advice.

Ere thy guidance, mine eyes hadst at each moment lied,

Twas their vice.

Thou hath brought me complete relief.

No more doest mine knee hitteth that table,

Nor doth mine eyes giveth me any grief.

Mine life can finally be stable.

With everything thou doth for me,

I must not showeth enough admiration.

Thou nev’r stayeth in one spot, only flee

Without any negotiation.

For everything thou doth,

Not only for me but as well as mine knee,

I am unable to remain wroth,

For thou maketh me free.

Now I sit,

Looking to mine right then mine left.

I beginneth to throweth mine fit.

Wast there a theft?

Reviews

[emipoemi]

I quite enjoy a good absurd poem, and this has the good makings of an absurd poem. But I couldn't help cringing every time your attempts at the old Shakespearean tongue did not bear as much fruit as you hoped. It was indeed a very nice touch that amped the level of absurdity in this poem.....it just was terribly implemented throughout by use of the wrong conjugation in the wrong places.

The only way that Elizabethan English and Modern English differ in their conjugations is in the second and third person singular. The second person ends in -st or -est (depending on the verb), and the third ends in -th or -eth (also depending on the verb). First person has no change nor do the plural conjugations, and the only past person that differs from the modern is second (which ends is -st; therefore "mine eyes HAD at each moment lied", not "hadst" which is second person singular). Also, the "mine" and "thine" pronouns in their respective positions in the poem are more commonly used before words beginning with a vowel. So "mine eyes" is correct, but not "mine knee", and in so saying, "thy advice" would turn into "thine advice", because "advice" begins with a vowel.

To be honest, your only flaw is the bad use of the old tongue. The poem overall is a brilliant example of wit. Well done!

[Done]

Wonderful. This was cute. I can "see" how new glasses open up a whole new world for a person who needs them. Well done.

[amber mabry]

Thank you! This was something I did for an assignment in highschool.