Where Can I Find Love

The sun cracked the dark sky. A single beam of sunshine bounced around broken glass and windows on to my dried, and oily face. I used my dirt-stained fingers that were exposed through my very worn mittens to protect myself from the sun. Propping myself on my bed. I yell at the fat rats that try to take my half-eaten breadsticks for themselves. I fold my cardboard neatly and tuck it away beneath the forgotten trash bags. Awkwardly, I stand above a puddle of water staring at my wethered face. Every day begins the same for me, alone.

 Some days I forget that other people don’t wake up feeling this way. I hope no one else feels this inside of them. Although, sometimes I forget that I’m not a ghost I never forget to feel empty. 

The sun is high up now beating down on my head but why do I still feel cold inside? I step out on to the sidewalk where I am greeted by a shoulder to my chest. I turn to apologize but she looked disgusted as she stepped faster and faster further away from me. 

Everyone runs through me, I see everyone with the opportunity to love but no one sees me. I hear every laugh, cry, loud music beaming through walls, and the honking of the streets but no one hears me.

This feeling that lingers inside me wakes up every day. What brings tears to my eyes and pain through my chest is today. Out of all the days, today is the sunniest. Yet not even the sun can make me feel warm. 

The night takes over without me noticing. Have I really lost track of the most beautiful day? I continue to cry but this time the sky began to cry too.