Black Bird's Full Moon

short, simple story I came up

Translucent flecks of white fell from the sky like glitter onto the wooden glen. The barren trees rose like shadows all around with patches of glittering white on their twisting limbs. The midnight sky was dark as ash and a full harvest moon dominated the cold night sky illuminating the tiny glen below. Like a shadow of the night, a black bird perched in the branch watching as two young witches danced about below, chanting their magic spells to the goddess of Earth and the Lady Moon. Fire danced around their features, giving them a mystic look. Like two faeries they danced around their circle of light. One wore a dress so deep of red it looked like blood flowing around her thin, pale form. Her long raven hair fanned out behind her like wings and she seemed to dance with the shadows like a gypsy. Her eyes where this piercing blue that seemed to swirl with a mist of magic all their own. The other girl seemed to glow of both dark and light. Shadows seemed to embrace her but at the same time she seemed to be glowing with pure moonlight. Her dress was of purple so deep it seemed to be a swirl of dark spirits as she twirled around. Her long, brown hair swirled around her and her green eyes seemed to glitter. From his perk high above, the black bird watched the witches and saw a young man creeping his way towards the clearing. His blond hair tousled in the wind and he crouched like a trained hunter in the nearby bush. The black bird watched with interest, he knew the witches would sense the man’s presence. The young witch with brown hair suddenly stopped twirling and stared at the brush that was the young man’s hiding place. The ravened haired one twirled about and looked too. Knowing escape was impossible, the young man stood. The two witches stilled and as they just looked at the man….waiting for any flinch the young man my make. Then like ice melting the brown haired witch tilted her head and smiled, her rosy lips parting ever so slightly as if to speak but just seems to breathe. The young man’s fear seems to fade and he boldly steps out of the brush, but stops just at the glens start. The raven haired beauty looks at her companion and smiles too. Then starts twirling again in the same mysteriously, entrancing dance as of before. Smiling coyly, the browned haired witch looks into the man’s deep blue eyes and beckons for him to come with her finger, winking ever so slightly. Seemingly entranced the man comes forward to dance with the witches, and the black bird spread its wings and flew into the harvest moon like a wisp of smoke, knowing the witches had found a new young man to keep for all of eternity

Reviews

[mattefox]

I am in love with this, I wanted to read more! I know I am extremely new, but this is the best piece of writing that I have read so far.
However, I could tell that you may have struggled with continuing to name your characters, for example 'the raven haired beauty' and 'brown haired witch', you could have possibly developed names for these characters so that it sounded more fitting, and flowed more. Also, I would be very intrigued with what names you came up with.

Other than that, absolutely fantastic, write more!

[Maxine]

Thank-You so very much!! I'm so excited that you love it, and thank you for the compliment. And yes, I was thinking of finding names for the characters if I expanded the story. It really just started out as a creative writing assignment where we pulled a word out of a hat, I got "black bird". I really do like how this one turned out though, and think I want to find a way to make it bigger in the future :)