artificial light pours through a frequently used school bathroom

now, how is it, that this world allows the best of us to suffer the worst and the worst of us to get our way?

she pulled me into the flourescently bright bathroom

with smeared mirrors and dirty floor tiles

for privacy, for security

she took in deep breaths, clearly anxious

the nervousness between the two of us

wound tightly in the air

and she pulled her shirt a bit up

and her pants a bit down

and displayed brightly between her hip and her thigh

on her body that i had shamefully coveted

cuts, just beginning to scab over

fresh and recent

suffering

i didn't know what to do, 

so i slipped off my backpack and my black coat

that she had said she liked because it complimented her style

i wear too many pale colors to agree

and my shoulder bag, 

with my smartphone and earbuds and money

that i would spend downtown with another friend

as soon as this was over

and i embraced her

and she embraced me

and our diaphragms lightly bumped together

and we both might have cried 

but we didn't

and i told her 

that she didn't deserve this

and that i was sorry

and that she's the victim so she should stop apologizing herself

and that i'd never liked anybody real this much

and that she should tell me next time she does it

and she thanked me

and said that i was her best friend ever

as if i was the 

brave one here

Author's Note

i tried to capture the moment, but i don't think i can do something that truly happened justice

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

I think the moment was caught insofar as anything fleeting can be. This is fragile but crystal write.

[ANTO]

I think there is plenty here - PT - you conveyed the moment well and you highlighted the impossibility of capturing a moment.
"and i embraced her
and she embraced me
and our diaphragms lightly bumped together" - this, I felt was class.

I like your style of writing.

[a pas-tel tin/ted sur_reality]

oh, thank you! i spend so much time writing fiction (that's usually inspired by other works of fiction) that i forget how hard it is to capture true reality. a lot of the stranger descriptions are things that my mind highlighted in the moment. for example, i can still remember the feeling of my stomach coming into contact with hers. when you write true fiction, sometimes you forget to include those little details.

[ANTO]

You are so right. I dont write stories so kudos to all that do.
One guy here - Cody Williams - fills his stories with such details - I always mention to him how much it exhilarates for me to read things like 'the third prong on the old fork was slighty bent' - in the middle of a story. Thats why that detail struck me I feel. Thats what makes it more real - both he and you have a gift in that respect.

[a pas-tel tin/ted sur_reality]

i love when people write details like that. i don't think it's a gift in this circumstance- in real life you pay attention to those little things, but in real life the progression of a story sometimes causes you to blur past those meaningful details.

[ANTO]

Yes - I agree. The little details carry a lot of weight.
'the devil is in the detail' - is quite a revealing adage.