Amor Fati

Amor Fati

A Story by Patrick Ryan
"

The soul of a man continues to be reincarnated over and over, every time he comes back with a perspective on how to lead a happier life.

"

Callum Powell lived a long life, 86 years until he died last night. Eighteen grandchildren, six children, and a loving wife were all there to mourn him at his funeral. The family was everything to Callum;  his joy in life was their happiness. While the entire family was at Callum's funeral, Callum was in a waiting room, as you would find in a doctor's office. The receptionist window was closed, and the door leading out of the room had no handle.

There's another person in the room with Callum, Annabelle Lowell; she's reading a magazine, sitting peacefully in the chair. Callum begins to hyperventilate; he's never been here before, he doesn't know what's going to happen, 

"Oh my God, what's this place, I don't understand what's going on, can you help me?" Callum says to Annabelle. Annabelle continues to read her magazine and does not respond. Calum starts having difficulty breathing, taking deep, slow breaths, Annabelle laughed.

"There is no air to breathe in here, calm down. I'm assuming this is the first time you've been here?" Annabelle says. Calum starts to slow his breathing, eventually realizing that he's not breathing at all there's no air around him,

"I don't know, should I have been here before?" Callum asks.

"Oh, you would have known if you were here before," Annabelle says.

"What is this place?" Callum asks.

"I like to call it God's waiting room, it's where you wait for your next body, they'll call your name, you'll walk through that door, and you won't remember anything about your previous life or being in this room," Annabelle says.

"How do you know?" Callum asks.

"I've done this about a hundred times; people tell me I have an old soul, they're not wrong," Annabelle says.

"If you can't remember anything after you go through that door, then how do you know you've done this a hundred times?" Callum asked.

"That's why this room is so great, it's the only place where you can remember all your lives, I feel like I have the wisdom of a hundred people," Annabelle says.

"I don't remember any previous life besides the one I just had?" Callum says.

"That's how you know it was your first time, they provide us magazines about all the lives we've lived before, give it a read, it'll make you feel better," Annabelle says as she hands Callum his magazine.  He thumbs through it; it's the story of his life, complete with pictures, direct quotes, and a table of contents where he can go directly to any moment in his life just by tuning to the right page. Reading the magazine made Callum smile and calmed him down,

"So, if you've done this a hundred times, do you have any suggestions?" Callum asks.

"Not really, you won't remember any of this when you walk through that door. However, I have found that if you focus on a single thought as you walk through the door, that thought will stay with you during your next life, it becomes your life philosophy," Annabelle says.

"Only one thought?" Callum asked.

"Just one, better make it a good one," Annabelle says as the receptionist calls her name over the loudspeaker. The door opens up; it's all black beyond the door, Callum can't see anything but black.  Annabelle gets up from her seat, places her Life Magazine back on the table,

"Good luck, maybe I'll see you around," Annabelle says as she walks into the black, the door slamming behind her, leaving Callum all alone in the waiting room.

Callum starts to think about the one thought he's going to keep in his mind as he walks through the door. The only thing that comes to mind is his family, having read his Life Magazine, it's the only thing he wants to hold close to his heart.

Hours go by; a couple more souls come; they keep to themselves; it seems like they've been here before. Callum continues to focus on his one thought; eventually, the receptionist announced to him, he gets up, walks towards the door, thinking about his family from his last life, he walks into the black.

Callum was born to middle-class parents in the United Kingdom, his upbringing was standard, he excelled in school, and when it came time to attend college, something pulled him towards the United States, where his last life had taken place. Callum attended college, but the entire time there was a growing concern that something was missing in his life. 

One day, while walking in Central Park, he saw one of his grandchildren from his previous life, now in her mid-fifties,  he had to meet her, but when their eyes met, he couldn't remember why it was so important to meet her.  Callum didn't look anything like the body in his previous life, had no recollection of his last family, and with an age difference so great, did not know what to say when the time came. Callum lived the rest of his second life, unfulfilled, with thoughts dwelling on the family of his past life, he never really formed a connection with a family in his second life. He passed away young, at the age of 61, alone and unhappy.

Callum wakes up in the waiting room again, this time there's another eight souls in the waiting room with him, a busy day for God's waiting room. Callum remembers everything from his past two lives, but he has very little interest in his second life, he searches for the Life Magazine from his first, but as he's reading, he starts to think, these people don't exist anymore, I have to move on.

Callum continued to think about the thought he's going to hold in his mind this time around, knowing what Annabelle was talking about when she was speaking about life philosophy. The feeling stays with you your entire life.  Callum wanted to be successful, coming out of an unfulfilled life. With this ambition, he held in his mind the thought of wealth, prosperity, and power as he walked into the black.

Callum was born into a Chinese family; his family was poor but could send him to school. Calum excelled at school and eventually set up a large multi-million dollar business. Rich, handsome, and wealthy, Callum lived the life of a playboy. As Callum flew around the world, partying with celebrities in New York, Paris, and Macau, he had a profound sense that something was lacking in his life. Callum was not happy; he was depressed and unfulfilled when he died at the age of 71.

Callum woke up in the waiting room, confused, telling himself that the thought he was keeping was directly connected to his unhappiness. Callum decided that this time around, he was going to build a mantra, "family, money, love," Calum said to himself as he walked into the black.

Callum was born to an Australian family, a wealthy Sydney family. He attended all the best schools, socialized with influential people, and lived with all the luxuries of a wealthy man. He started a family, was powerful and influential, and genuinely loved the world around him. However, when one of his children died as a result of a horrific accident, it left his family heartbroken and jaded, and his love was not the same. The sense of sorrow and unfulfillment came back and penetrated his life again. Callum died at the age of 59 in a boating accident.

He woke up again in the waiting room, knowing that he had found a loophole in Annabelle's system, with a mantra, he could keep several thoughts in his mind at once. All you had to do was find the right combination of thoughts to be satisfied in life at last.

Callum tried numerous variations for his mantra; none of them worked; he made it worse in many instances. He was more unhappy than at any stage in his existence. Five lives later, the mantra had become so long; he could barely remember it when he entered the black. Each time, the outcome was one of unhappiness and unfulfillment.

As Callum sat in the waiting room, about to reach his tenth life, he reflected on all that he had been through; he began to think about himself, what if happiness was not in philosophy, or obtained from other people? What if fulfillment had to be attained through himself? As Callum reflected on this notion, he came up with a new mantra.

"Love my fate, whatever the circumstances, everything that happens in my life, including pain and loss, is good and necessary."

Callum was born in a small African village, which barely had enough food to survive. Given all this, Callum was successful, thrived, and extremely happy. He lived to a mature age of 91, loving every moment and every day.

When Calum arrived in the waiting room, he realized that he had cracked the code; he had discovered the key to happiness. Calum would live another eight lives, using the same mantra, every time he was successful in finding real and lasting happiness.

He woke up in the waiting room, a big grin on his face, he started to focus on his life but then saw that a guy was hyperventilating two chairs away from him.

"First time, huh," Callum said.

"Who are you? Why are you so happy?" he asks, as Callum hands the Life Magazine to him.

"Read this; it's going to calm you down; you may be here for a while."


© 2020 Patrick Ryan


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I really enjoyed reading your story. Very insightful and well written. I think it is creative and flows well. I can't tell you about grammar or sentence structure because I'm not very knowledgeable in those areas. Good job. Keep it up.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 8, 2020
Last Updated on May 8, 2020
Tags: shortstory, fiction